The Future is Now

2006-07-16T21:42:00.000+08:00

Skagen what?

This beauty stopped me in my tracks. (trust me, the photo captured only half the appeal) The orange dials set against the grainy black clockface, mysterious and pulsulating with desire. I couldnt resist and tried it on. Its wafer thin surface (4mm) felt like a band of film seductively wrapped across the wrist.

The price of temptation ? $229.

I steeled myself and walked away.

I'll be back.

***
Not having watched the first, Basic Instinct 2 sexual tension was gripping enough for me. The lead character (David Morissey, whoever he may be) grappling-in-the-dark morality and sexual fascination with auntie Sharon was interesting as long as she kept her clothes on. Dont think its as bad as the one tick New Paper gave it. I would give it a 2 1/2. Couldnt help feeling Clive Owen would have raised this thriller a notch. David Morissey doesn't quite have the same whiff of latent violence.

Monica Belluci's next.

2006-07-02T08:03:00.000+08:00

Vindication Finally ( Football mumblings...)

Losing is always hard to take. I have more than a fiscal attachment to my wagers. It is more than a case of winning or losing wads of currency. I am staking not only my cash but the validity of my judgement and decision-making capability. And the emotion attached to each wager differs exponentially with the thought behind each decision, independent of any monetary consequence. A frivolous $5 bet on 7 goals that potentially might bring about $450 windfall would be less satisfying than a well considered $50 wager ( with returns of only $40 ) on Serbia holding Argentina to a not-more-than-1-goal win.

Non-punters might find that hard to fathom but that was exactly the situation with me. That was why Serbia 6-0 capitulation at the hands of the South Americans riled me more than most losses thus far. Its monetary consquence was $50, but the betrayal of and insult to my decision making cut deep. How can a team priding itself on a watertight defence and conceding only 1 goal in ten (?) qualifying games suddenly concede 6 in a single game?

At times when i betted despite skimpy knowledge of the underdogs and lost, I accepted it philosophically. I took the easy way out without thinking it through and lost. I deserve it for laziness. At other times, i took well considered long shots on underdogs and lost again, I laughed it off as a good dream, gentle ribbing from fellow punters notwithstanding. The key is belief and daring to dream within reasonable limits. Ivory Coast left me grinning despite 2 losses to their name.

For this World Cup, I felt it in my blood that England and Germany would meet in the Final. In a repeat of their 1966 triumph, England would emerge victorious. This gut feel was so strong it overrided my almost primal dislike of what i considered a grossly overrated English team, hyped beyond measure by a public feeding on nothing but the EPL week in and out. (hmm...i am the public feeding on nothing but the EPL week in week out...) Before news of Rooney timely recovery filter through, I placed a $200 bet at odds 9.

Despite a series of horrid performances (and in spite of their clueless Swedish manager) in the first qualifying round, they stumbled into the quarter finals to square off with the Scolari marshalled Portugal.

And they lost.

Meekly. With a little help from the ref. But ultimately through their own lack of belief. When one team misses 2 penalties in a shoot out, the other side usually would be a shoo-in for the rest. The Liverpool lads had other ideas. Time will tell what went through their mind as they stepped up to execute 2 parodies of a penalty. Thank you, you Scousers. Now you've done it again. "40 years of hurt, never stopped me dreaming." Play that Lightning Seed song again for your fans. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fbqbhSs8Dpo )

The defeat, together with a run of bad results the previous night, left me stirred and shaken. The exasperation was profound. Without my iron-cast belief in a England berth in the Finals, I am unable to grasp the situation for the remaining matches. To give up signalled humilating resignation to the vicissitudes of Fate. Yet I risked losing more if i went on floundering without a clear vision.

And then it happened, the sequence of events set in motion before the England match climaxed in the final masterstroke that turned the tide.

The smile is back. I am back in the black.

Swimming against popular opinion never felt this good.

2006-06-20T10:12:00.000+08:00

Germany 2006, Flutter in the red, crocked Owen and others

My record in this tournament is respectable. only 14 losses out of 40 matches so far.

But im in the red because i flouted the 2 cardinal rules......

1) Never Wager in Anger

2) Dont' chase the dragon

Brrrrrrrrrr....I cant believe myself...Its as stupid as stupid does.

***
Sven is a genius. In an utterly unimportant match, first he threw in yellow card carrying crouch for owen and then similarly at risk of missing out next match Gerrard for Rooney at the end.

Does it make sense to possibly lose 2 of your "key" (inverted because of the dubious quality of the much vaunted Crouch) for the next round in a meaningless match?

Compared that to Portugal's Scolari who is set to rest 5 players on a yellow card, having already qualified - "They wont play one minute even if mexico are winning 30-0 "

If England does win the cup, it would be despite Sven's meddling rather than any shrewd input from the feckless Swede.

***

-Freddy Shepard on Owen-

"When you lend somebody something and they return them injured and broken then you shouldn't have to pay for the repair. That what's happened at Newcastle and the level of compensation isn't high enough in my opinion. "

2006-06-08T08:36:00.000+08:00

Sven Last Supper

The England captain is transformed into Jesus Christ, sat at the centre of the table, in front of the World Cup trophy, lost in thought.

Beckham is separated from his team mates which the designers say could show he is one of the few English players to play abroad. His concentration could also show how the England captain has realised the tournament, which starts in Germany this week, could be his last World Cup.

England coach Sven Goran-Eriksson is shown as Mary Magdalene.

The Da Vinci Code film, inspired by Dan Brown's novel, suggests that Jesus and Mary Magdalene had a child and the bloodline survives to this day.

The England coach is seated next to his successor Steve McClaren, who is rudely blowing a raspberry in the Swede's ear.

Liverpool midfielder Steven Gerrard appears to be having a row with Manchester United defender Gary Neville, possibly about who should be next to succeed Beckham as captain or just renewing traditional Liverpool - Manchester rivalries.

But on the left of the picture, Chelsea star John Terry appears to be tapping McClaren on the shoulder, possibly trying to persuade him that he should be made captain rather than Gerrard or Neville.

Meanwhile, striker Wayne Rooney is making a rude hand gesture to David Beckham, possibly a reference to the argument the duo had during the Northern Ireland game.

excerpts from http://www.dailymail.co.uk/pages/live/articles/sport/worldcup2006.html?in_article_id=389029&in_page_id=1892

***
Im lazy to write anything. haiz. I just got myself a second PS2. Been busy leading the likes of England, Korea, Argentina to World Cup victories.(Fifa 2006 Germany). Knocked out of First Round with Spain. Lately been struggling with Netherlands. 6 consecutive draws in Qualifiers. Thats all thats happening in my life now.

And Im still having those darn dreams, the latest involving me running away from the law and inadvertently hooked up with a terrorist to compound my troubles. Argh. My life's a movie. My dreams at least.

2006-05-21T18:02:00.000+08:00

Of Camel toes and the sacred feminine

After last night heavy Japanese (revisionist) style history lesson, I decided to pay homage to the sacred feminine on my own terms and paid dearly for my flippancy. Caught the HK Naked Avengers and the Korean Bewitching Attraction. The former is a bland action flick with no nudity and little action and the latter a sex comedy with neither sex nor comedy. Both below to the category of films under "No Idea Why They Were Made."

Should have caught L'enfant.

In another tribute to the sacred feminine, i hereby dedicate the remainder of this post to the history of the camel toe. (yet another new thing i learnt last night)

***
As the story goes, a trader from the Sahara had managed his way across the Mediterranean, up through Spain and into France and England. Along his travels he noticed this strange custom of "pants wearing" by the melanin-deprived northerners. He kept thinking to himself that the Shar-pei or Bulging wrinkle looked more like the hoof of his pet Camel - Metmah.As he traveled, he would always say to people "Hey, that looks like the toe of my pet camel Metmah."

While not having pictures, he actually did carry the hoof of Metmah's father around with him -- a sort of keepsake if you will. The trader would show people his camel-toe -- albeit a real camel-toe -- and people would look with amazement and astonishment at the amazing similarity. The trader was invited to speak at dinners hosted by some of Europe's most prominent Charpe fashion houses. Soon, one of the fashion houses changed its name to Camel-toe and the others followed suit rather promptly.

As the name changed across Europe and other places, there also seemed to be a rage about how big one could make their camel-toe. People tried all kinds of different ways from "The Jack" which was essentially a frontal wedgie, to smacking your nuts with a brick or other large hard object (sometimes a good firm fist right before going out on the town did the trick) to cause the genitalia to swell before placing them gingerly inside the pants.Then quite recently, fashion houses came out with modern day underwear -- or tighty whities -- to help accentuate the toe and hold the boys in place for a cleaner, more camel-toe like effect.However, people soon looked down on the male toe - sometimes turning away from friends and family members who continued the tradition of the male toe.

And so today it is the female toe that people think of when the term camel-toe is brought up. But that was not always the case.

***
....thoughts on Da Vinci Code continued on http://onthesleeve.wordpress.com/ not for easily offended christians and catholics especially. Dont ask me for password and then kaopeh argue with me.

2006-05-14T09:56:00.000+08:00

My dreams have been a major source of annoyance for a week now. They have no connections with anxieties in the real world. They are derived from nowhere and everywhere. it seems that everyone whom i have ever met or known are all thrown into mix and the end result a series of vignettes with no logical/emotional flow as far as i can perceive.

Take last night's for instance. Jimmy, Yann, me and some others ( simply cos we watched the FA Cup Finals together, they are entered into the equation) were sitting in a circle in some dark misty place.We were playing cards or just chatting. 2 soldiers bearing rifles walked by. Ive forgotten why they were disturbing us or what they said that made the mood extremely tense. I remembered feeling the tip of a bayonet pressing against my neck from behind, the soldier beckoning me to stand up, which i did. I stood and slowly turned and grabbed the bayonet (what sane person will grab the bayonet !). For a brief moment, I considered grabbing the whole rifle and smashing the butt into the face of the soldier. But the other soldier was hysterical by now, forcefully jerking his rifle at me and threatening to shoot if i dont let go. And I reluctantly did.

And the dream jumped (no fade-out or dissolves, am i dead ?) to the next scene where Diana (my other big boss at work whom i almost never talked to)was, in aprons and all, cooking up a storm in the kitchen. I remembered watching from the side, very much impressed.

CUT. NEXT! This time I received a cryptic sms from someone I had/might still be having a crush on.

The message read, "Im free".

2 words that send the mind reeling as the vast array of possibilities were methodically considered and eliminated.

Has the door finally opened? A crack of light, a sliver of hope? Free from fear of hurt? Free from unrealistic expectations? Free from convention? Or simply, im free, please ask me out?

I woke with a massive headache and aching joints.

2006-05-06T10:12:00.000+08:00

Staying ahead, Moving Together

I made up my mind long ago. Nothing that Ive heard changed it.

I didn't have much choice. Cries for destruction without restoration is all the other side could muster.

If i wanted buffoons, I would vote in Mandai.

Check and Balances ? Save me the rheoteric. I prefer intelligent tyranny over babbling democracy any day.

Was asking a few people last night. When is defamation defamation ? If implications of corruption is defammatory, outright accusations of XXX being of lower moral standard than YYY is not ?

Where do we draw the line ?

Or its just a matter of who's sueing who ?

Staying ahead, moving together

Touching spin but there is always someone left behind. Not that it bothers me particularly.

# of defammatory word in this entry : 1 - Democracy

2006-05-02T22:16:00.000+08:00

BrokeBack Alert

And so Tzu-i went and got himself married.

It was surreal.

Somehow to this date, i dont think i really grasped the fact that he is married. Even seeing him in that suit with his beautiful bride last night did not change anything. As such, i am incapable of even being happy for him. A strange ambivalence. It was as if he merely went ahead and got himself the latest toy, before any of us could afford it.

It has always been this way.

He was the only one i knew living in a condo. He was the first among us to get the Nintendo, the Super Famicon with the arcade style control pads, the greyish Playstation back in those days and then the sleek black PS2 when it first came out. We would gather after school at his huge 2 storey Newton condo, seated cross-legged on his mum's expensive looking mat, agape at the enormous tv screen, slugging it out with Mario Go-Kart, Art Of Fighting, Metal Slug, Winning Eleven earliest version. He always thrashed me at those street-fighting games, where i would leap nimbly here and there, delaying the inevitable before i get pummelled by 24 hit combos. I would give up after a while and slithered to the back of the crowd, waiting till he's tired playing with the others and put aside his controller. That was my cue to dash forward and change the game to Winning Eleven. If I were not there alone, Liwei or Check would entertain me and slogged it out with me. If I was there alone, Tzu would look on distractedly for a while, muttering the occasional comments, after which he would mumble something about getting a nap. He never had much interest in soccer. I would then leave quietly after i had my fill ( which could be hours later ). I would set aside the controllers neatly, gather up the messy discs sprawled about, switched off the tv, go up to his mum saying " Auntie, Im leaving already. No need wake Tzui. Bye bye.".

This was the lady i shook hands with at the exit last night, her cheerily thanking me for coming and me smiling broadly but with the "Congratulations" stubbornly stuck in the throat.

I am such a kid.

Everyone around me is growing up and here i am, insisting i am 13.

Or am i just angry that for the last 8 years, we somehow drifted apart, not by much but bit by bit, without either party realising ?

2006-04-26T05:52:00.000+08:00

Beyond reason and belief of even their staunchest fans (Yours Truly included), Arsenal have reached the UEFA Champion League Finals, setting a European competition record of 10 consecutive clean sheets in the process. Having survived a fierce Real Madrid second leg onslaught, cruised through the insipid Serie A champions Juventus and nearly mugged by the conivving, scheming Spanish cunts (*gasps*) that is Villareal, it seems that "Big Ears" is there for the taking.

We have way too much luck for all that transpired to be coincidental

It has to be Destiny.

May 17.

Don't choke now. Please.

***
Maybe i am spoilt rotten but i am dissatisfied.

For the third time in a row, I stayed up to watch a sleep inducing match. Scrapping results is fine but it is not the Arsenal way. If Arsenal does not play their brand of football, victory is a hollow consolation. What i seek is the theological high ground. The True Path. The doctrine of entertaining breath-taking attacking football must always triumph over the cynical game-stopping, fouling/diving tactics so favoured by Mourinho's Porto, this year's Villareal and also over the harmless but bland let-pass-the-ball-till-the-other-side-fall-asleep style so favoured by Liverpool's Benitez and Chelski's Mourinho.

Wengerball is not the only answer. Rijkkard star studded swashbuckling free-spirited side will do as well.

Please let it be a Barcelona Arsenal Final. When that happens, Football will be the winner no matter who lifts the trophy eventually.

***

One match away from pocketing $275 profit !

Bought this after the Real Madrid first leg, when the first seeds of Faith were sowed.

*ahem*

2006-04-23T05:02:00.000+08:00

Straining at the leash

After 2 years out in the economic wilderness, I had 2 job offers in succession.

I chose the one where i will not be shackled by past sins of failed academic application. In govt statutory boards, I will only be able to traverse along the trajectory as defined by my measly Bachelor of Arts degree. The other offered me a chance of a break-out, a fresh start, with my efforts and aptitude determining my final destination point.

It was the decisive factor, the secondary being I will be working in an environment I am much familiar with, having worked on ad hoc projects for them in the past 2 years.

I am under no delusions. The first few months would probably be a matter of digging in with the nitty gritty, staying alert, observing the situation, learning the ropes. I am prepared for shit hitting the fans.

All that is left is the contract to be signed.

2006-04-22T01:21:00.000+08:00

Doesn't this make you feel old ?

Where was I one year ago?

Couple of weeks after i left Double A Papers and went on 10 days tour of Shanghai, Su Zhou, Han Zhou, Xiamen and Fu Zhou, bumming at home, relishing the break and wistfully thinking a full time job is just one application away.

Where was I five years ago?

Lying on my flimsy creaky bed in Sungei Gedong counting down the 50 odd days to my date of release. I had a dream then, to hurl headlong into academic application for the next 3 years of my life. As with all my resolutions....

Where was I ten years ago ?

Preparing for my Sec 4 mid term exams..I was to get a shocking 23 points that had the joint effect of veering me towards my first ever nervous breakdown and jolting me out of complacency, just in time to whittle the aggregate down to a decent 11 points for the subsequent Prelims and O's.

***
Today's the birthday of my Pri 5 & 6 not-so-secret crush. Happy birthday, wherever you may be !

2006-04-04T01:30:00.000+08:00

Had dinner at the French Stall. Unpretentious small outlet off outskirts of little India, I went decked in my trusty old Giodarno T and shorts. Its no more than a kilometer from where i live but its only the 2nd time ive been there, the first being 3 or 4 years back when it first opened.

Back then i found it horrid that my lamb chop was swimming in olive oil and basil.

We had the $13.80 3 course meal, some escargots and giant profite-dunno-wat for dessert. Was shocked when my main course of chicken leg was set down. Was expecting a real leg of chicken ( think big drumstick !). What turned out was 2 mouthfuls of meat. (im exagerating, but it certainly felt like that).

But it was a good 2 mouthfuls. Gone too soon. Haiz.

I vaguely remembered the dessert was great. Vaguely cos i was listening to Jp talking about his recent woes. He certainly had a run of bad luck with women in his life thus far. Part of what i thought was the problem was he gave them too much credit for capacity for thought and independence of mind. If he started from the standpoint that they are all idiots when it comes to relationships, his disappointment would be much reduced. I am not even half kidding. ok, maybe idiocy is too strong a term. Irrationally selfish ? Soft in the head ? Mentally incapacitated emotionally ?

No comments on this section please, you have no idea what happened. If i could, i would slap the lady to her senses. And im not one who lay hands on women, Shu Qi photos excluding...

Sorry Jimmy, for the call out of the blue ! i just realised you last had your meal there 5 months ago ! no wonder you dont remember clearly what u ate liao. Grinz. How come it felt like last month I read that entry in Yann blog. Be prepared. I shall call u 5 months later asking about Hotel 1929.

***

I am feeling more and more like a vermin. And smelling like one. I dont bathe unless i have some reason to step out of the hosue. I live from one Arsenal match to the next, from one saturday kickabout to another. Thats about the 2 things that seemed to matter. Im waiting, waiting for the phone calls that never seemed to come. Im in limbo. The jobs i easily/over qualify for do not want me. The jobs i barely qualify for do not want me either. Its almost enough to make me regret my misspent academic youth.

That ive remained unemployed is a combination of few opportunities and that i fluff whatever few that came my way.

I chose to miss an interview for Men's Health feature write-up intern position for Chorale's Lei Yu final rehearsal. ( When milly had kindly tried to recommend me for it. Im sorry)

I chose to miss participating Chorale's bi annual concert for Voluntary Probation Officer training.

I chose to miss (unable to attend) one ( and hence render all before useless) VPO training because of involvment as Locations Assistant on Singapore Dreaming, a stint i enjoyed but it did not lead to other opportunities as i hoped.

What next ? Turn down a job because it will clash with my planned World Cup trip ?

I baffle myself sometimes. I hope i will not be put in that position. I have delayed buying the air tickets for that reason. I dont want to beat myself up over my random decision-making again.

2006-04-02T23:25:00.000+08:00

If the Cantonese come from Guangdong, The Hokkienese from Fujian, Where do the Xia lan people come from ?

What make of cars is best suited for gays ?

If i sat on the iGallop, will it slow down to an iTrot ?

These and similarly intelligent issues were discussed over lunch yesterday.

I think the meal after has superceded the soccer as the main event of our Saturdays. At times during the soccer, I have this feeling everyone came simply cos i asked. We dont seemed to be enjoying our soccer. I dont too. Perhaps the 2 weeks break after the next will recharge us. Or perhaps we need a big field match to kick our ass again....

I dont mind the meal being the main event. I hardly see them cept on Sat. Its an informal way of keeping in touch. Just wondering whats needed to keep the soccer part fresh.

Soccer Clinics ? that would be something..hahaha but i have no idea who can conduct.

Maybe Bergkamp. Or Shearer. Since both retiring soon. Hmm..

2006-03-27T23:35:00.000+08:00

Thierry Henry
c/o Arsenal FC
Highbury, London,
N51BU
United Kingdom

I was too young when Ian Wright was lighting up the lives of Gunners Fans but ever since Ive started following Arsenal closely on TV, you have lighted up mine on occasions too many to name...From being just a striker, you have become the soul and symbol of Arsenal FC.

I know its selfish of us but please stay....

Keeming 27/3/06
-Singapore-

PS All the best for the Juve Game.

***
I thought of writing something alone the lines of " bergkamp is still my fav player but...". heh. Thought better of it.

Im not crazy. Its part of an unofficial fan movement to send postcards to thierry pleading him to stay. Read from a site. Club promised that all cards will be delivered to him. Rather than silent hoping he will stay, at least write something.

stop rolling your eyes !!!!

2006-03-27T21:44:00.000+08:00

11pm Cinderellas

One of the more underated lines in V goes like this,

"After all, A revolution without dancing is not a revolution worth fighting for. "

I couldnt agree more.

It is difficult to fight for abstract ideas as Democracy, Freedom, Justice, Equality.

They are after all, rather vague concepts, open to manipulation and interpretation.

But the specifics, the simple pleasures of lives, now, that is something truly worth fighting for.

I will fight for my right to play soccer in any public places of my own choosing and time (with due consideration to neighbouring residents of course )

I will fight for my right to have dao3 hui1 (beancurd) at any place and time of my choosing, be it Geylang or Selegie, be it 3am or 3pm.

I will fight for my right to listen to Tschaivosky, techno or trance the nth.

And I might not have the desire to do so now, but whenever the fancy and inclination strikes me, I will loiter in any godamned public spaces as i wish to.

Our poor youth will no longer be able to do that in state sanctioned peace.

And Cinderella thought she had it tough.

2006-03-21T22:46:00.000+08:00

Piang ! what a difficult tag this time ! You'll find my inclinations tend towards the cheesy 80s.

1. A song by a Beatle:

I dont like insects.

2. A song featuring piano as the main instrument:

At the Cafe, from the korean movie Windstruck.

Currently unsuccessfully learning how to play it. (its fairly simple...)

3. A song with a man’s name in the title:

Krafty, by New Order.

A bit of a cheating here, i assume Krafty refers to the famous clown, and hence, a man.

4. A song with a woman’s name in the title:

Too Late Marlene by Duran Duran.

Cousin stayed over for a few months in my formative secondary days and introduced me to the likes of Duran Duran, Pet shop Boys and Deepche Mode. Was hooked ever since.

5. A song about money:

Opportunities by Pet Shop Boys..

my favourite ditty part ..

I’ve got the brains, you’ve got the looks
Let’s make lots of money
You’ve got the brawn, I’ve got the brains
Let’s make lots of money

6. A song with weather in the title:

Why is The Weather So Hot Always On A Saturday Morning, by St Wilfrid Boys

7. A song with parentheses in the title (these are parentheses):

Fuck it ( I dont want you back ) by Eamon

sorry ladies, but its really shiok to sing to on a bad day...

Fuck what I said it dont mean shit now
Fuck the presents might as well throw em out
Fuck all those kisses they didn't mean jack
Fuck you, you hoe, I dont want you back

yes, yes, angry old man.

8. A song made by a punk band:

wah lau, i dont even dont know whats a punk band...i'll hazard a guess, a rare non-antique song

Take Me Out, by Franz Ferdinand ..thanks kiat for burning me their songs ! keep the old one somewhat updated on current songs.

A second guess,

Breaking the Habit, by Linkin Park.

The only Linkin Park song i like. the rest is just noise. A little tale here. Flash bulb memory. I first heard this song in 2004 on the mtv channel in the Werder Bremen Hanseat Hotel. I think Yiren was putting on his trousers then or something but Ive finished changing and my eyes were glued to the screen. Superb mtv. After that i realised the song was in my ipod all along ( thanks to Jimmy).

On the last day of my Bremen stay, on the train journey (alone!) from bremen to hamburg i was playing this song on repeat mode non stop.

9. A song with the word “song” in the title:

Song 2, by Blur

WOO HOO !

10. A song you love so much you stop and listen whenever you hear it put it on repeat mode and never get sick of it:

Mine, immaculate dream, made breath and skin,
I’ve been waiting for you,
Signed, with a home tattoo, happy birthday to you was created for you.

(can’t ever keep from falling apart.. at the seams)
(can’t I believe you’re taking my heart.. to pieces)

Ahh, it’ll take a little time, might take a little crime to come undone
Now we’ll try to stay blind, to the hope and fear outside,
Hey child, stay wilder than the wind
And blow me in to cry.

(wailing )

Who do you need? Who do you love?
When you come undone (x2)

With lyrics like these, how can one ever tire of singing to it !! If you dont know by now, its

COME UNDONE, by Duran Duran.

2006-03-21T00:09:00.000+08:00

A Disciplined Life (ahem..)

I shall attempt to impose some structure to my wastrel's days, partly to ensure an all round entertainment for myself and also to clear all the backlog of things-im-supposed-to-watch-but-currently-lying-in-a-stack-on-my-table.

So i came up with the following, a method-within-madness timetable. Hence i shall at least :

1) Spend Two hours reading my Shusaku Endo's novels
2) Spend One Hour listening to German-For-Beginners CDs
3) Spend One Hour writing something, be it to blog or some other forms of creative output.
4) Watch 2 Episodes of Astroboy anime ( 1 hour est )
5) Watch 5 Episodes of TACTICS anime (2 hours est )
6) Watch 2 episodes of ALL IN drama serials (3 hours est)
7) Spend Half hour on the piano learning to play the song At The Cafe

Based on me sleeping at 2am and waking at 10am, i have around 16 hours to murder daily. Take away 10 1/2 hours for the above and I still have 5 1/2 for free style leisure !

FACT OF THE DAY :

Do you know there is this deep sea creature known as the vampire squid, with the ultra stylo horlicks latin name of vampyroteuthis infernalis ? Literally translated as ' the vampire from hell', this squid emits glowing particles instead of farting ink to confuse its predators. Ain't that amazing !

-courtesy of boogaloo in the bog -

2006-03-13T08:47:00.000+08:00

"It was like the France game all over, I was trying to take up time," Gerrard added. "I did not see him and the last player you want the ball to go to is the best player on the planet. It was a stupid mistake and it stopped us from robbing a point. We didn't play at all well."

Thank you Gerrard, for your honesty. If Arsenal had not won, it really would have been a travestry. It could have been 5-0 , in the end, it took a large stroke of luck to win 2-1.

Stop harping about Alonso red card (benitez) when your team equalised from a wrong decision from the ref. (to continue play when cesc was obviously fouled.) In the first half, your team could have scored 2 but for your brilliant strikers missing sittters. In the second half, you were never in it, torn apart by rapier passing and Henry pace.

Your team was outplayed. That's all.

The fourth spot might be out of reach but no question we deserved this win.

So thanks again , stevie ! twice over ! for your pass and your honesty !

2006-03-10T20:37:00.000+08:00

Champion League Draw

Arsenal Vs Juventus.

Former Captain back at highbury.

"We'll show you what you've missed. "....

is what i would have loved to say. In truth, he did not miss much, what with Juve leading Serie A by 10 points and Arsenal languishing in fifth in EPL.

Will the team stand up and be counted ? To show their former captain "Thanks for the memories but no thanks" ?

I dont know. Juventus shouldnt be a worry. We beat them 3-1 at home the last time we met and lost 0-1 at their place. They did not have Vieria then. But we beat Edgar Davids comprehensively.

We survived whatever Real thrown at us in the second leg. We struggled to add to the 1-0 advantage of the first leg. Juve defence is as unlikely to be as generous ? yet they conceded 4 goals over 2 legs to Werder Bremen. And Arsenal conceded none in the last 6 matches, one game short of equaling AC Milan 7 shutouts record in this competition. with a make shift back four that costs less than 3 million.

Too many variables. Analysis is futile.

I cant wait for the first whistle. Vieria or no, they are there for the taking.

Thoughts on the other CL draws ?

Irrelevant.

And for all those English bigots ( read : O leary,Taylor, Pardew) out there who whined about the lack of English players in the team that progress to the quarter finals, Albert Enstein has this for you,

"The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits."

ahh... no wonder you guys kept mouthing off.

Can Wenger help it that Campbell is currently injured ( and depressed ) or that Ashley Cole is chronically injured this season (in preparation for a Chelski move next season )?

Or that English players good enough to play enough for Arsenal costs 17 million pounds and above ? ( Owen 17m, SWP 23m, Ferdinand 30m, Rooney 30m)

Or that world class World cup 98, European cup 2000 frenchies Vieria, Pires and Henry costs 3.5m, 7.5 and 11m pounds respectively ?

And 2002 World Cup Gilberto Silva was available for 5 m ?

None of the current English players were alive when England won any international tournaments of note ! ( 1966)

The great Enstein last words on this issue ?

"Nationalism is an infantile disease. It is the measles of mankind."

There you have it.

2006-03-07T16:15:00.000+08:00

Thought Provoking, confoundingly deep and obstentiously vuglar entry.

What do you see yourself in 3 to 5 years time ?

Why do interviewers tend to ask such questions ? of course i can paint a scenario of bravado and answered with shit like,

" i will be earning 1000 000 a year, living in Marina Cove, with a yacht at my door step. "

What relevance does it have with whether i get the job ?

I just want a bloody stream of regular income and i am sure i can do the job ! its not a big deal job ! its just a bloddy simple job !

and my other pet peeve...

" Do you have a passion for this/that?"

We are not talking about jobs in the artistic realm. Or teaching. Or news coverage, journalism, and anything remotely exciting.

for nonsense like accounting, admin, market reaseach, insurance, marketing-I dont need passion to handle such mundaneness. Any half schooled soul will be able to handle.

One look at my almost bare bank account and its enough passion to keep me motivated to maintain, do well/better in my job. That is the highest form of motivation, that is my passion.

Fucking shit. I dont think i will ever get a job through interviews. Only word of mouth can pull me through.

"What leadership qualities do you think you have ? "

Fuck you.

"I have absolutely no leadership qualities, i am the follower type, and even then i will follow at the convenience of no one but myself. By the way, this job need leadership meh ? I tot just attend meetings, pretend to understand and vomit out what the boss say to the underlings? need leadership to chat on msn in the office and act busy meh ? Need to attend course for that isit ? "

If only.

2006-03-05T22:13:00.000+08:00

Worst Snack Bar
Worst Hygiene
Worst Seats
Worst Toilets

My favourite cinema Shaw Prince swept 4 awards out of 10 categories in today LIFE!.
It is really not that bad. The band of dainty dames and airy dandies are too particular. They prefer the gaudiness of the newer multiplexes to the draped in purple quiet old school elegance of Prince's cinema hall.

I wasnt that riled with that though. After all, class is an acquired taste. And the less people go to Prince, the better it is for me. There is few things i dislike more than a full cinema hall.

What riled me was their flippant whines.

Of Lido service staff, they moaned,

"the box office auntie greeted me with a steely stare usually reserved by disgruntled wives for deviant husbands."

What do you expect ?

a blow job ?

Come on, give the oldies a break ! Don't saddle them with our consumeristic expectations ! ok, i know there's no word such as "consumeristic" but u know what i mean ! dressing up the dignified elderly with the colorful costumes of today, forcing them to sprout pleasantries. These are the airs of our marketing-and-branding-before-all generation, dont stuff it down their psyche.

I am and never will be comfortable with senior folks greeting me " good morning sir" and all the usual inflicted upon pleasantries. Even at Mac, i cringed whenever a much older folk have to address me as such.

Just because i pay $9.50 for my ticket, you are not my slave or my dog. You dont have to wag your tail or bow before me. You are a human being with moods of your own and I respect that. It could have been a bad day for you. And having trouble in the family. Cool. No problem. You just have to process my order. And give me my tickets. If you are in the mood, a simple "hi" would suffice. Please dont sir me and that. I am not in any way superior just because i am buying something. If its a young one, he better dont guai lan. Thats about all i ask for.

2006-03-01T23:33:00.000+08:00

BUCHAREST -- Romanian second division soccer club UT Arad sold a player in exchange for 15 kilograms of meat, local sport daily Pro Sport reported on Monday.

However, fourth division Regal Horia made a bad deal because defender Marius Cioara decided to end his footballing career and take off to Spain to find a job in agriculture or construction.
"We are upset because we lost twice -- firstly because we lost a good player and secondly because we lost our team's food for a whole week," a Regal Horia official was quoted as saying by the daily in its electronic edition

http://soccernet.espn.go.com/news/story?id=360149&cc=4716

***

No wonder Roy Keane once remarked he felt like a piece of meat.

2006-03-01T12:44:00.000+08:00

The Nameless Monster

Once upon a time, there lived a nameless monster.
The monster was dying to have a name so badly.
So the monster decided to set out on a journey to find itself a name. But the world was such a large place. So the monster split into two and went on to two seperate journeys.
One went to the East and the other went to the west.

The monster that went to the east found a village.
There was a blacksmith at the village entrance.
"Mr.Blacksmith, please give me your name" said the monster.
"I can't give you my name" replied the blacksmith.
"If you give me your name I will jump inside you and make you stronger in return."
said the monster. "Really? I'll give you my name if you can make me stronger.", the blacksmith told the monster.

The monster jumped inside the blacksmith.
The monster became Otto the blacksmith.
Otto the blacksmith was the strongest man in the village.
But one day he said:"Look at me! Look at me!""The monster inside of me has grown this big!"

*Chomp, chomp, munch, munch, gobble, gobble, gulp*

The hungry monster ate Otto from the inside out.

The monster then went back to become a monster without a name.
Even though he jumped inside Hans the shoemaker....

*Chomp, chomp, munch, munch, gobble, gobble, gulp*

He went back to being a monster without a name again.
Even though he jumped inside Thomas the hunter.....

*Chomp, chomp, munch, munch, gobble, gobble, gulp*

He still went back to being a monster without a name.

The monster then went to a castle to find a wonderful name.
Inside the castle, there was a very sick boy.
"I'll make you stronger if you give me your name" said the monster In reply, the boy told him "I'll give you my name if you can cure my illness and make me stronger.
"So the monster jumped inside the boy.
The boy became very healthy.
The King was delighted."The prince is well! The prince is well!" said the King. The monster became fond of the boy's name.
He also grew fond of his life inside the castle.
That's why he endured even when he became hungry.
Every day, even when his stomach became very empty, he endured.
But then he became so hungry....
"Look at me! Look at me!" said the boy.
"The monster inside of me has grown this big!"
The boy then ate his father, servants, and everyone.

*Chomp, chomp, munch, munch, gobble, gobble, gulp*

Because everyone was gone....The boy left on a journey
He walked and walked for days.....
One day the boy met the monster that went west
"I have a name" said the boy."It's a wonderful name."
And then the monster that went west said..."I don't need a name." "I'm happy even if I don't have a name."
"Because we're monsters without names."
The boy ate the monster that went west.

Even though he now had a name....
There was no one left to call him by his name.

Johan.

It is a wonderful name.

2006-02-28T09:34:00.000+08:00

"SHOW RAJA IN VIDEO IN NDP 2006 " !

"RENAME ESPLANADE IN HONOUR OF RAJA's MEMORY" !

"MAKE WAX REPLICAS OF WORTHY SINGAPOREANS" !

Sure, lets make a statue of Sir Alex Ferguson while we're at it. His teams would have touched as many Singaporeans as Raja. And boosted our economy in no small part.

Relax guys, don't stumble over yourselves to outdo one another.

Im not sure i'm ready to lap it all up.

He probably is a great man. But would he have wanted all these servility and genuflecting ? Admist the blabbering in the coverage of his death, the lasting impression i formed was that he was a quiet man with simple pleasures.

Can't we leave him alone now? He has served enough.

Lets stop invoking his spirit for our own agenda.

Dear, dear, who am i addressing this to ?

2006-02-22T20:45:00.000+08:00

In the December of 2003 ( or was it 2002 ? ), i decided on an impulse to attend a competition event as audience member for a change. Being part of the VJ Male Chorus was very much an afterthought. ( Embarrasingly, we actually won something.)

As i sat in one of those mornings, choirs after choirs came and go, leaving little impression. And then Jieleen's Johor Chamber choir took the stage. And i heard it for the first time.

It was also the first time in a long while and ever since, that a choral piece left me in a trance-like stupor with no consciousness of time and place. I closed my eyes. I was being held aloft in an incandescent embrace. The angels were whispering in my ears,

Be at peace, son, all will come to pass.

In my memories, the hall held its collective breath. A deeply reglious experience worth a thousand sermons. Morten Lauridsen O Magnum Mysterium, I learnt of its name much later. A traditional deeply rooted piece I yearn very much to sing, none of the flashy look-ma-no-hands! pieces we have taken to performing in recent years...

***

Ah yes, the same Genting competition where i witnessed first hand the double act of Low & Toh. If you could see them back then, throwing heart and soul into their work, their distinct personalities imprinted in the very choirs they were shaping. I can see them still... Terr, ever the sheepishly flamboyant one with his antics, had NUS choir eating out of his hands on and off the stage. Xuhao, the serious and perhaps more distant one, had VJ choir responding to each beautifully measured and restrained gesture. It was magical. Their choirs felt like extensions of their being. I played no part in their development but i remembered feeling extremely proud of them as i watched them wrest, grapple and conquer and their eventual vindication on the awards night.

2006-02-21T21:36:00.000+08:00

Quote of the day

"You are quite bad at lying for a diplomat."

"I have not risen that far."

--Ralph Fiennes, The Constant Gardner-

***
I feel like one who is living desolutely. Maybe i should turn to drink.

This is depressing. Having nothing on the plate and an endless span of time before you. There are no weekdays or weekends. Every day is just another day. It wouldnt be so bad if others are just as busy idling as yours truly.

Jio-ing everyone in sight on your msn/phone list (for movie, coffee, tea ) is not a good idea.

Even msn-ing people for idle chat will get you in trouble. I had one extremely rude comeback lately. Being ever conscious of intrusion, i started off with.

"free to chat ? "

The response was totally uncalled for and unexpected.

"Why you like to msn me ? so many things to chat meh ? Ive already told you im busy lately..."

If you are reading this, know that you are deleted and blocked.

I dont give a fuck about how you feel about that. I dont think you care and i dont care if you care. I mean i doubt i msn you more than once in a week and you give me this kind of fucked up kenasai response. I was particularly nervous that night because i would be having relief teaching the next day and wanted to talk about it. That response was a kick in the balls. You could just left it at "sorry im not free."

"why you like to msn me ? so many things to chat meh ?"

Fuck off. i dont need you.

***

The entry veered off somewhat. Did not mean to bring up that msn issue but it had to pop out.

Ok, I enjoy idling. I love nothing more than idling. In two days ive watched JarHead, Constant Gardner, Pink Panther, 20 episodes of Monster and 4 hours of Winning Elven 9. Its a shiok life. It not the guilt that is disturbing me. You guys can bury yourself in work all you want. There is not guilt. No work = no money. Fair enough exchange. So its not the guilt.

Its the terrible feeling of not having anyone to share this life with.

It would make so much difference to have someone you want to meet at the end of an idle day, someone that makes your heart leap when you are with her or sending her home. It is the absence of such a presence that is depressing. There is nothing to give any meaning in even merely existing. If i exist just to be up early enough to give her that morning call so she will not be late, if i exist just to be able to call her during her lunch hour and ask about her day so far, If i exist just to be able to meet that someone in the evenings...there would be some meaning to exist.

I am not wallowing in self pity.

When i finish this entry, i will watch Monster and enjoy myself. Then i will wait for Real Vs Arsenal match and i will enjoy myself and tmrw i will wake up and watch anime again and enjoy myself. But in between one event and another, or in the interim when no event follows continously after another, this feeling will drift in. It is a fact i have to face. Not an imagined loneliness or a self conscious low self esteem.

An absolutely rambling and meaningless entry. I shall bathe and get back to watching Monster.

2006-02-19T21:52:00.000+08:00

The Monster inside me is growing bigger...

I am exhausted ! i spent 2 hours on an entry that is neither a review (too general ) nor a synopsis ( too detailed )...I dont know what it is ! tell me ! worse, it is not the finished product ! It is near completion but im too tired to go on.

Something that i am currently watching and felt very strongly about. I have not been so engrossed since Elfen Lied and Full Metal Alchemist. A anime that feels more like a Hitchcock movie with its bleak washed out colours, foreboding atmosphere and pervase (not perverted ! its different ! ) premise.

so here ! KM's unfinished symphony ! Resplete with grammatical and structural errors !

http://onthesleeve.wordpress.com/

2006-02-15T15:11:00.000+08:00

This is not a Vday rant. Spend it amorously/carnally as you like, to each his poison.

I was reasonably contented spending it whacking Winning Eleven on xbox for almost 8 hours straight.

Got tis off an email ...poems you wish you see in Valentine Ads

I thought that I could love no other.
Until, that is, I met your brother.

**********************
Roses are red, violets are blue,
sugar is sweet and so are you.
But the roses are wilting, the violets are dead,
the sugar bowl's empty and so is your head.

************************
Of loving beauty you float with grace.
If only you could hide your face

*************************

My darling, my lover, my beautiful wife
Marrying you screwed up my life.

****************************
I see your face when I am dreaming.
That's why I always wake up screaming.

*****************************

2006-02-10T07:56:00.000+08:00

Ang moh : Let me teach you one thing....in life, you have to protect yourself even if it means betraying your friends... Ren2 Bu4 wei3 Ji3, Tian1 Zu1 Di4 Mie4 ...This i learn from you Chinese.

Andy Lau : Let me teach you another thing, one that you foreigners will never learn...the meaning of Yi4 Qi4 !

...and walks away in a huff, slamming the door behind

Off a generic Andy Lau life-of-a-hoodlum movie. Early morning cable broadcast.

Corny but shiok.

2006-02-09T07:24:00.000+08:00

Suffering the slings of fickle fortune....

Round 3 : - $20
Round 4 : + $15
Round 5 : -$20
Total deficit : -30, $20 to Game Over

Today 4D second prize : 2364
I buy : 2384

A DIGIT AWAY FROM $1000 !!

***
Been back conscientiously applying for jobs again. Part time project ending soon. It was enjoyable, this relative freedom. A friend successfully applied for visa to UK, where she'll be working part time and after 12 months, can apply for a work permit. I would love to take this route. haiz.

"Dun tell me what i should be,
Dun tell me what i should do,
I dun want to waste my time,
so ShUt Up ! "

Saw it off a bag in bugis. How Angsty ! I could never managed that. Too exhausting.

2006-02-06T22:11:00.000+08:00

A Great Year Ahead !

***

Surprise Screening Alert !

What would it be tomorrow ?? Anything but Rurmour has it please.... Aniston is fine...but KEVIN COSTNER ?

argh...

2006-02-05T22:35:00.000+08:00

I owed myself a number of reviews.

Starting a month ago, i make a mental promise to write a review for every anime, drama series or movie ive watched. It is not for any audience out there but more of an exercise in discipline, of trying to stop and reflect instead of jumping from one series to another. Even a badly written review involves some retrospection.

Here's a list of what i owed myself !

1) Beautiful Days ( 2001 Korean drama )
2) Hunter X Hunter Tv Series (Anime)
3) Fun with Dick and Jane
4) North Country
5) Walk the Line
6)Real Madrid movie
7) 100% Ichigo (Anime)
8) I Not Stupid
9) Fearless

..... I think i better stop here...

***
Self-pleasuring day. Watched North Country alone and played Winning Eleven 8 with a stranger at dobby ghaut Xbox lounge after the show. Went up to this Indian guy and asked if i could join and split the costs since hes playing that game anyway. He brushed aside my attempts to pay my share when the bill came, suggesting instead i shall pay for both the next time we happened to meet.

Hao2 You3 Man3 Tian1 Xia4 !

Briefly considered watching Match Point at 4pm but instead went home to nap. Had 2 tediously long dream in an hour. The first, i was either watching this movie about, or listening to a man lecturing me about, the end of the of world and how it will all end in an orange blaze ( not fire). I forgot about the second.

Woke up very much annoyed.

Waiting for Pool Chelski match. The Anfield God has returned. I cant wait.

$10 on Pool win. Profit of $26 if all is well.

***
Yesterday was a good game in a long time. The weather was breezy and briefly, drizzling.

Skunk and I had a good game between the posts, including 2 point blank saves with the feet.

On the other side, Jimmy goalmouth lead a charmed life, with at least 6 to 8 shots hitting against the posts.

I realised im lost at sea when playing outfield.

I am never that good at it but increasingly, i found myself drifting for long periods of time without the ball. Either im in positions that are difficult to pass to or teammates chose not to pass because of my tendency to lose the ball. And im too lazy and unfit to chase for balls unless its within my vicinity, which is the least not-so-skilled players should do.

The thrill u get when u lunge in and get a block is as satisfying as putting the ball in the net. The more unfit i get, the less i am able to do that and the less enjoyable the game becomes.

Maybe its really time to do something. For my own sake.

Another of those sudden not-likely-to-be-acted-upon epiphany.

2006-02-02T07:13:00.000+08:00

A Game Of Numbers

Jimmy suggested a challenging way to bet over the weekend. Set aside a sum, lose that sum and forever hold your hand till the end of the season. A rather disciplined way to bet. But we've got to come up with a "Penalty" if the limits are breached.

Its not looking good at the moment after 2 rounds. Capping at $50, I lost $9 over the first round and won $4 over the second. Both rounds involves 5 bets of $5 each. A net loss of $5 leaves me with $45 more to lose before game is up.

The sum is small to feel any real pinch. What was infuriating was the inability (in the case of Arsenal matches, a refusal to) in spotting the upsets, Villa draw with Chelski being the only exception.

***

Bentley hattrick for Blackburn ? Shrug. That kid talks too much to be of any use. Skill undoubted though.

Loved the sarcasm off an Arse Fansite..

"Arsenal took a huge step towards failing to qualify for next seasons champions league with a home defeat to the real life Eastenders, West Ham..."

Woke at 6 for the delayed telecast. For the second time in the season, i turned it off after half time.

2006-01-28T23:06:00.000+08:00

Random Thoughts

If you are spending time away from family on this night, if you are partying away somewhere in Mohammad Sultan, you are missing the point.

Unless you absolutely hate the loins from whence you came from, tonight should be the night spent entirely with the family, even if it does not seem you are doing much. It is not asking much isit ? One night out of 365 ?

Random thoughts.

I am just wondering how the younger generation (12 to 18 ) are spending this night.

Thoughts stirred by an ad promoting a new year countdown party CD with all the dance hits/trance.

Completely out of point ad.

2006-01-27T23:31:00.000+08:00

read yann's blog, tot it was interesting, makes u think a bit...so here goes.

5 of Life simple Pleasures

+ Standing in goal on Saturdays, arms lazily clutching the net for support, watching the rest run themselves crazy, occasionally spurting to cut off loose balls, join in attacks, or kelong let ball slip past, upon which mutter curses and swear to do better next time.

+ Weekends on edge of my seat in front of the telly watching Arsenal thrash opponents 3-0 and above with their incredibly slinky football ( a pleasure much denied most of this season )

+ A hot Mr Bean No-sugar soya drink every weekday morning

+ Ruffling JoJo's fur, watching him prancing about excitedly attempting to bite onto my hand. (no, it doesnt hurt at all)

+ GV Tuesdays Surprise Screenings !

PS SHOCK ! discovered i was tagged by jim only after i wrote it... so much for free will. *grunts* (kidding)

2006-01-20T23:07:00.000+08:00

A long absence.

Summary of things i did or did not do in that stretch.

1) blew more than $100 on the game mentioned in the last post and now have a decent collection. Have hence cut down to $10 each visit.

2) No resumes sent. There is a dearth of reasonably interesting jobs. Actually i did not even look in on the Classified. Waiting upon MR decision to offer me a fairly challenging but somewhat routine job. They sure take their time. Its not even a high position.

3) Sulking and pouting and whining about certain events that transpired. Those whom i voiced my plainitive complaints to, thanks a million for lending your ears. I am still in sulky mode though. Can forgive but not forget. Yet. In no mood to give in this time. Felt very much like a fool after recent incidents.

You deserved it, no one told you to

*shrug* .

True, true. but sod off. I ain't nobody bitch.

4) Trying to make the world around me understand 101 reasons why NOT to see Memoirs of Geisha. Both the book and movie are not worth the time of your life. Im afraid i ended up rather dogmatic and abrasive. Once again, my apologies. I really cant stand angmohs exoticising the East, putting their as usual egocentric spin on things and for the life of me, why the fuck are Chinese posturing as Japanese painfully muttering English ?

Are Americans too dumb to read subtitles ? There there, ive hit the nail on the head.

oh dear, here i go again !

Zip it. Zip zip zip.

( im trying hard to resist watching but the alluring Gong li is testing my restraint to the limits. I will survive i will survive i will survive....)

5) Watching Hunter X Hunter. At episode 18.

"To really know someone, know what he is angry about."

How true ! Dear friends, do flare up at me now and then so i will understand you better !

6) Recording my best imitation of angmoh slang on my 7610.

Inspired while watching Bones and Blood with yiren.

some elderly couple was talking and an ang moh have to twerp in a tiny voice.

"stop talking !"

You have to hear it to believe it. If only i could put up my clip somewhere.

"Stop talking" repeated musically ten times, ending with a personal touch, in my most unimitable tone....

" Mine4 kao....! " ( dont kaopeh lar ! interrupted)

7) Clicking on newsnow.co.uk a dozen times a day for news of Arsenal targets. The last 3 hours were the worse. A click every 10 minutes. 16 year old Theo Walcott finally signed, completing Wenger's hattrick of signings. Brave man. To plan for the future while the present is perilously shaky.

Hats off nerdy one !

***

Attended Xianghui's wedding last saturday. I cant claim to know him well but after all , we "grew up" in the same church since we were 6, 7 ?

One year younger and hitched. I am envious dude. :)

And i came out with another ridiculous idea for the script in the as usual banal ceremony. ( of cos its banal, its not my wedding! ). Shall post it on the other site one of these days.

2006-01-08T22:35:00.000+08:00

World Club Championship

Met up with CK at Zone X dobby Ghaut. Saw an ingenious variation on the usual soccer games. Rather than picking a team and having to stick with what you have, this game involves collecting cards, laying ur cards on a screen in the formation you desire, and played out the game in that formation. And you sub players simply by swapping cards.

Bought a starter pack with 11 cards and got these.

Who the hell are they ! i have no idea .

Created a team STG ( St George). 2 games played, 2 losses. After the first game, i got Del Piero and the second, Kolo Toure. Not bad for a start. I cant afford to get hooked on this. Each game costs $2. You get a card whether you win or lose. Im playing it more for collection than anything.

I left the team card (which contains all the data on the player , ie me ) in the machine. Was gone when i went back to look for it. which means i have to buy another starter pack !

argh.

***

This week, we shall attempt our own Xmas period schedule madness- 3 matches in 8 days !

see you there !

2006-01-04T01:15:00.000+08:00

An Uneloquent Defence

“Anime is porn !”

A friend flippantly exclaimed when i mentioned i planned to watch a series for the remainder of the night. It irked me back then. Is that the common association of the unconverted ? That we, thick rimmed anime nerds that we are, salivating and jacking off before the screen ?

read more here !

http://onthesleeve.wordpress.com/

2006-01-01T08:06:00.000+08:00

A new year. And im down with flu. What a start.

Welcome 2006. Unlike most, i do not expect anything to change. A new year is a numerical event. It has no meaning in itself. (other than marking im a day a year closer to my death) If i were to set in motion any change in my life, i can do so at any point of the year.

So what do i hope to accomplish in 06 ?

(1)Going to the World Cup in June.

(2)Land a permenant job.

(2) is not a goal in itself. I have no real desire to land a job as of now, i can't envisage something that i would be able to do for long stretches. However, achieving (2) will make (1) financially possible. At the same time, (2) will set contraints in terms of leave issues that endangers the possiblity of (1) occurring.

***
Xmas without carolling does feel much less of a festive event. Whether Xmas is a festive event is open to debate but lets not open that particular can of worms.

It was tougher a decision than I anticipated, not to carol. Much like when I suddenly decided consuming shark fins is absolutely unnecessary and henceforth give it a pass at family dinners/weddings. The first few times were the toughest. To avoid questions and lengthy explanations, I pretended to be unwell when shark fins were served and pass the bowl to bro. After a while, i decided that was ridiculous and simply sit it out when the dish comes along. Occasionally, it would still invite unwarranted remarks of "oh, he's an environmentalist.".

No one believes I would pass up on such a delicacy.

It might be a delicacy. But it has no relevance to me. While hardly an environmentalist, i would hate to be responsible for unnecessary deaths. Besides, even the best shark fins does not taste that spectacularly nice. Same with the other chinese delicacy, abalone. Abalone are rather like fish cakes- salty and tangy. Thats about it. I dont see the fascination with it. Just because it is expensive does not make it worth eating.

I have not sworn off abalones though. Somehow, they dont feel like living things, more in the category of plants. So you might say im being rather arbitary.

2005-12-29T00:53:00.000+08:00

"Sometimes you are just next to impossible" - Precious Moments

Great gift for the girls dont you think ? They are frequently impossible.

I would love to be in those situations though. So thank your lucky stars guys, and stop moaning.

Treasure them ! Shower them with love, love love !

Till they melt and you can henceafter get away with almost anything.

ok, that last bit was absolutely unnecessary.

***

Caught King Kong again.

I still go all exhilarated at the Kong Vs Dinos segment. The ferocity. The no holds barred royal rumble. It reveals more than a thousand wide-eyed stares into each other eyes. And a thousand serenely-gazing-at-sunset scenes.

To have something to protect, even at the cost of your life.

The primordial instinct to obilarate anything that threatens the well being of your beloved.

Terribly exciting.

2005-12-24T01:19:00.000+08:00

Finally updated Jim and Yann links on this site.

Hmm..considering switching to squarespace.com for blogging. much easier to utilise than blogspot. Only problem is the monthly fee, which in itself is not a big sum. Just that the concept of paying for blogging has not sunk in yet.

Xmas Eve. A rather poignant time.

Sorry guys, i did consider but i really dont think i would be joining for the carolling. Most of you enjoy the songs. I don't. I can't do it. I will feel like a stranger in my shell.

Arse Vs Donchaster was interesting. The youth team suffer from the same fragilities as the first team. Inability to cope with long balls, difficulties with physical presence and with simply clearing the ball out of own half.

Just heard my coz has a bf from Holland. Looking forward to family dinner on Sunday. Shall ask him about Bergkamp. Or if he smoke pot from Amsterdam.

2005-12-19T07:28:00.000+08:00

Arsenal 0 Chelsea 2

A good game. Rather unfortunate that it came in the sequence it did. Third defeat in a row. 8th in the Premiership. How the mighty has fallen !

Chelsea deserve their win, if only for their efficiency.

" I repect Wenger as a coach, but he has shown difficulty understanding his life has changed. He's trying to deflect the truth about the rise of Chelsea."

*shrug*

Financially doped just about describe it.

2005-12-18T09:49:00.000+08:00

The JB post remains unfinished for now, maybe for a while. Too lazy to rouse myself to the effort of recounting the events of the day.

Bought N7610 after months of price monitoring. $238 with line. Its the only phone with Symbian OS that falls into this price range. N3230 has bad reviews all round while the rest are just out of my financial reach. Im not sure what Symbian OS does but i need it to play my avi clips on the go.

GV has something interesting in recent weeks. $5 movies on tuesdays, and even better, you wont know what you are in for. The only information is that it's something that has not been screened commercially here before. Sounds promising but im beginning to doubt its value for me.

http://www.gv.com.sg/Booking/movies/moviedetails_0016.htm

Last tues was Family Stone, a decent family drama cum comedy. This week looks like something in a similar vein ( my guess). If they dont start showing something less mainstream, im going to start giving it a miss.

Hollywood chick/family flicks is not my idea of "something that has not been screened commerically here before".

Foreign/indie/classic flicks are.

2005-12-16T21:54:00.000+08:00

Arsenal up against Real Madrid !

Finally !

Two attacking sides in decline yet still capable of moments of pure footballing artistry. Would not have been the match it would have been (if drawn) 2 years ago but still worthy of top billing.

Barca Chelski ?

if match take place next week, Chelski have no chance. Barca in full flow right now. February would be dangerous. Barca wildly maverick form might slipped by then while Chelski cowardly rock steady approach is much less susceptible to fluctuation.

Come February ! Bring on the ageing aristocrats !

2005-12-11T02:15:00.000+08:00

An explored possibility pushed ahead of time into reality today.

No, I did not get hitched. I meant a day out at JB with some colleagues. We started talking about it on Tues, set a tentative date for next Tues (13th), something cropped up on Friday that threw our plans into disarrary, and we simply decided there and then,

" we are going in tomorrow. "

And that's that. And so off we went.

I have never been a fan of our neighbouring country and this experience did nothing to change it. A half hour ride from Queenstreet terminal to Customs was smooth enough. The wait at our Customs was reasonable. The horror began at our friendly neighbour's side. A dusty run down room with hardly any fans for ventilation greeted us. Imagine that and hordes of people packed tightly within. That safety was not a concern would be an understatement.

How many years have it been ? 10 ? 20? 40 ? And they cant build a reasonable office ? Their thinking must be somewhere along the line of " Fuck the Singaporeans, they want to come they come. "

And they are right ! And that's is why i have stepped into their soil for less than 5 times over the less 10 years. And thats cos of Genting. JB alone, i dont think i have gone in more than twice. I have no desire whatsoever to step into that country unless it is absolutely necessary.

Shelve the ranting and back to the trip. We were stuck in for 45 minutes. if anyone had as much nudged an elbow in my ribs, i would have snapped. I wouldnt have cared if you are man, woman, child or King Kong. ( i'm dead if its King Kong anyway)

(to be continued)

2005-12-05T05:47:00.000+08:00

Awakened to a brewing storm, some 4 hours after i turned in. Sleep became impossible thereafter. I found myself quivering, not for lack of physical warmth, but an inexplicable sense of loss. Images that make no sense repeatedly flashed in my mind when i tried to quell the turmoil within. And a line that i must have read somewhere came to the fore :

And Man shall howl under the moon like a lone wolf...

I started to doubt my grasp of reality. At moments like this, i felt like the last life in the universe. I started gibbering to a God i have in recent years doubt existed (or even if he did, somehow oblivious to my existence) Something is rotting within and i could not wrench it out.

Write.

The physical world around starts to regain their form, articulation bringing about resolution.(or is it madness-induced elucidation?)

You are not alone. You are you, with a mind and consciousness that is yours and yet not truly yours alone. Someday the other wandering half of you will show itself and you will henceforth be complete.

It is perhaps for this end that i exist.

2005-11-19T01:26:00.000+08:00

An Insanely Vulgar Entry : F-word count-13

It was enough to stun me out of my utterly self-induced manic-depressive state.

Roy Keane Leaves Old Trafford

Dont gimme the fucking bullshit about leaving on mutal consent. Don't fuck around with words. This guy was booted out. This guy is Manchester through and through, unlike the former-Arsenal-captain-also-known-as-Vieira. He would not have left if circumstances had not made it untenable for him to stay.

Once again, The Dinosaur has spoken.

"Thou who are not with me, are against me"'

Off went Stam, off went Beckham and now the unthinkable, Roy Keane himself. Fuck you fergie. It is you who should leave. In fact you should have gone 3 years ago. It should have been the end of your era then, but you are still here, like the proverbial ailing old fart whom everyone silently wish would just die.

Farewell Captain, the only thing you ever did wrong was to nail your flag to the wrong mast.

In the now wussy sport of football where the likes of Reyes fall orgasmically at every touch, you are the last of the Brian Clough line, the tough guy that gives no quarters and asked for none. In the Rupert Murdoch era where every news is sanitised and every one gives boring "I love my team mates" comments, you alone dared to step out and give a refreshingly frank assessment :

Something is rotten in the state of Manchester.

And for that, you are once and forever silenced.

I will miss you, much much more than the squealer-formerly-known-as-the-Arsenal-captain-also-known-as-Vieira.

2005-11-18T01:06:00.000+08:00

Another lovely evening, another round of doubts. I am really a sucker for punishment. I must love doing this to myself. If i could just keep my life simple, sticking to soccer with the lads on Saturdays as far as social life goes. Why throw ladies into the mix ? They mess up everything, logic and order goes out of the window the moment they are in the equation. I am never a stickler for order, but even i am thrown off-balance by the emotional maelstrom they are consistently capable of creating.

I sound like an adolescent in heat.

2005-11-17T01:18:00.000+08:00

A Glimpse of the Matrix

The gloominess lifted somewhat after days of brooding dissipation. In truth, there wasn't anything much to begin with. A feel of an alternative way of life muddled the senses and fanciful apparitions took shape, and the mind lurched down equally fanciful paths.

"This is possible even for you, you know ? " a voice breathed.

"I could get used to this...i suppose...if only....", my voice in reply faltering as the mind fumbled desperately for reasons why that would be remotely within my grasp.

Above brief monologue repeated ad infinitum. Enough to drive one up the fucking wall.

2005-11-07T02:56:00.000+08:00

The hounds baying for Fergie's blood in the past week would be the same hounds tripping over themselves tomorrow to lavish praise on Manchester's "character, team spirit" and Fergie's "tactical astuteness". That's the press for you. A mask for every occasion.

Will we hear the voice of reason ? that a great victory this might be, it would be one of the many false dawns as long as Fergie is around. His management style is past it. Just as the dinosaurs did not realise then, his time is up. In slang lingo, he is "swinging it", making up as he goes along. Perhaps he's warming the seat for Juventus's Capello.

But for tonight, a very big thank you. Chelski' s 40 game unbeaten run came to an end at your hands, just as Arsenal's 49 game streak did. With 300million pounds, this is the best the Russians could do. Up their arse, that you did. Congrats.

Thank you again, red-nosed one, for putting $30 in my wallet. Love you lots.

2005-10-23T08:55:00.000+08:00

An almost perfect saturday.

Woke up to soccer at 9am. Good match ( not personally, generally). Great lunch with all and sundry. The perfect afternoon - anime viewing sandwiched by bouts of sleeping. And almost the perfect way to end the day with. Pity the pub was closed. Fortunately Jimmy called before i found a cab.

Watched at home instead. Another struggling Arsenal performance.

***
Someone once rebuked me gently,

"its not enough to luxuriate in the arts"

She wanted me to give something back, to write, to create, anything but merely indolently soaking everything in.I can't. Not at this level. Besides, luxuriating in the arts, is easier than cracking my head doing anything creative. It is not something that comes easily to me. Maybe im just lazy.

So now, back to Full Metal Alchemist.

2005-10-22T08:42:00.000+08:00

It was snowing.

"Why the long face ! ", she yelled from a distance, " Get over here now ! "

I flew, she dodged, i stumbled.

"Why, you ! "

She chuckled, and started running.

I grinned.

The chase began. And ended when we collapsed in a heap, grinning and chuckling ridiculously.

"I love you"

i woke.

Fuck

2005-10-19T06:18:00.000+08:00

Hell Hath No Fury

Was frantically looking for company to this promo screening of Park Chan Wook's third and final installment in his revenge trilogy. After Old Boy, there is no way I would miss any of his subsequent works.Preaching to the converted would be easy.The challenge was finding someone who've never heard of him yet will be open-minded to try. (and since it's a free ticket, there is not much reason to kao-peh) Eventually went with Zhu.

He declared it "Excellent !", "Beautifully filmed! "

One paradox of modern times-The country that consistently produce such a conveyor belt of brilliant movies is the same culprit behind the fluff that is Bae Yong Jun and all that he stands for. (cheesy weepy Korean serials...)

Back to the movie. A movie trilogy done out of spite in an up-your-arse gesture to critics who slammed him for violence in his films. An unusual motivation to say the least. The 3 films - Sympathy for Mr Vengeance, Old Boy, Sympathy for Lady Vengeance - are connected only thematically. They have no relevance to one another otherwise. I have not seen the first, but from the second and third, I presume the themes explored are similar. Revenge mulled, brooded upon and eventually executed. In Old Boy, it took 15 years. In Lady Vengeance, it was 13. Not by any stretch of imagination a short passage of time to be consumed with no other desire but to get back at the perpertuator of injustices suffered.

Yet in both films, vengeance was ultimately not as edifying as thought to be. (In this aspect, Old Boy trumped SFLV in its final twist of the blade)

While Old Boy was at times stomach churning in its violence, SFLV was clinical and all the more tragic. Lee Young Ae is unbelievable as the "kind angelic" inmate whom everyone could not refuse when turned to for help in her masterplan.I did not exactly like her in Jewel in the Palace, but here, she is stellar.

Please, do yourselves a favour. None of the hollywood shit is worth a look-in at the moment. Asian is the flavour of the month.

2005-10-15T02:30:00.000+08:00

dude, i dont know what to say. I feel your pain.

Last week you were still talking about the future ahead and i was glad for you. It's about time u got someone who deserves you.

In a week it fell apart ? To choose another is bad enough, but a married man with 2 kids ? It is beyond my comprehension. It is absurd to the point of hilarity.

The snares of women are frightening. There is no escape. Slowly they reel you in, and land the knock out blow.

You deserve better.

2005-10-09T21:43:00.000+08:00

No Regrets

Quotable quote #1:
"His positioning is so superb he managed to avoid all contact with the ball !" (newcastle fan in GOAL! )

Quotable quote #2:
" He has all the time in the world. Do you have the luxury of time to forget ?" (Old Cheng to an aging Qi yao in Everlasting Regret)

If you are not in the mood for noisy blockbusters ( Into The Blue, Four Brothers ) or inane but occasionally hilarious sex comedies ( 40 year old Virgin, Deuce Bigalow 2 ), Everlasting Regret is just about the only watchable film these days. With all of the rich colours but none of the (increasingly) ritualised instrumentation of Wong Kar Wai works, the movie takes you from Old Shanghai to the Cultural Revolution and the "Bold New China". It chronicles the life of Qiyao in the different eras, having started out rather spectacularly as the mistress of an influential police officer (Hu Jun). Following his subsequent fall from grace and banishment, she hooked up with a good-intentioned but weak-minded son of a formerly illustrious family (Daniel Wu). After the second relationship failed (by now a woman in her forties at least), she desperately clinged on to her youth and entered into an eventually fatal liason with a young hothead.(no idea who).

Sammi was clueless as the willowy schoolgirl but grew impressively into her role as her character aged. She did not come off as a Maggie Cheung rip-off which i thought she would. Tony Leung (Ka fai ) as usual gives a stately performance as "Lao Cheng", the torch-bearer looking upon her indiscretions in stoic silence.

A rather dangerous movie to watch with the ladies. Will end up arguing from opposite sides of the battle field. Ive no doubt they will read it as yet another instance of the oppression of women by men. I disagree. Qiyao was using the men (for financial sustenance) in her life as much as they were using her ( for pleasure, wat else ! perhaps with pity ? ). I neither condemn nor pity her type. My sympathies were more inclined towards the men whose lives she wrecked. Like moths to the fire, they were consumed by their brave passions/lust. Both sides suffered equally.

Had not planned on writing a review ! but felt the movie had more brickbats than it deserved. Compelled to defend it somewhat. Would be on my conscience if people chose to watch, say, Dukes of Hazzard, over this.

2005-10-08T14:38:00.000+08:00

Dont know why today report on the "racist bloggers" annoyed me so.

" I AM DEEPLY ASHAMED", " I AM AN IDIOT" headlines interpersed between pictures of suitably downcast hangdog faces. Probably coerced into making those statements in exchange for lighter custodial sentences. ( now, is this a libelious statement ? casting doubt on the judicial process ? or an inflammatory one? stirring up the hornet nest ? or merely a statement ? there is always a third interpretation you know.)

I dont know what i am pissed off at. Them not standing up for their views or presumptious blatant attempts to teach me what and what not to think. They are probably really idiots but i still dont like people trying to ram down the proverbial moral of the story.

"Hello kids, these are bad people. Dont be like them ok ? we must be nice and cuddly, especially towards minority races ok ? doesnt matter if you dont believe in it, but at least behave like you believe in it ok ? good boy boy ! heres a pinch in the butt. "

Hmm...

I wonder...if any minority race made racist remarks about the Chinese on his blog, will we be that bothered to flame him/send him hate mails/death threats ?

I for one, thinks i have much better things to do. (tsk tsk, now now, again, what sort of statement is this ? libelious ? inflammatory ? when will you ever learn? )

Now for those cerebally not-as-swift, in case you did not get it. let me write out the POINT OF THIS ENTRY in bold.

Dont read the papers.

2005-10-02T08:08:00.000+08:00

And they claimed we are the dirty ones
Overheard...

Guy : " Did you watch Apprentice last night ?"

Girl shocked, cupped mouth in horror, turned furious, and retort indignantly.

"Of course i washed my panties last night ! "

***

Among the 181 goals Henry scored for Arse, one stood out in recent memory. ( i forgot if its this season or the last.) Reyes, being uncharacteristically intelligent, launched a long ball deep from Arse half to pick out Henry. Henry broke free from his marker, cushioned the ball athletically in midair and lobbed it over the onrushing keeper.

Yesterday at St Wilfrid "park", KH and KM played out this move to almost identical conclusion. It would have been undoubtedly the top goal of KM amateur career thus far if it had gone in.

KH was in inspiring form yesterday, pulling off a stunning back flick from his ass to Edwin who just had to put it into the net. And KM made up for his earlier disappointment by finishing off a sweeping move from Danny down the flanks. And KM being KM, hogged the limelight again at the end. It was a difficult finish considering that KM was facing away from goal yet managed to clear it into his own net.

2005-09-30T22:44:00.000+08:00

A Bittersweet Life

I doubt there is any film on screen currently worth catching more than this. A uber cool gangster flick bristling with understated flair and verve. The story is linear enough. Let me summarise in less than 50 words.

Up and coming mobster assigned to keep tabs on Boss's mistress. Boss's mistress having affair. Guy falls in love with Boss's mistress, let star-crossed couple off the hook. Boss come back. Boss knows. Boss infuriated, send in the troops. Guy badly beaten up, left to die. Guy fights back. People die. Guy meet Big boss. Big boss shot. Guy shot. Everyone dies.

The End.

Simple story plus impeccable execution makes for compelling viewing.

***
I hardly understand the excitment over a 0-0 draw. I would understand if Wigan holds Chelski to a draw, but a top club ( at least in name) such as Liverpool ? Raving over a draw with a club of similar status if not lower ( Pool is European Champions after all...) ? I smell fear.

Chelski is nowhere near the league of Real Madrid, Barcelona, and the Italian teams, Juve and AC that Pool beat en route to lifting the CL trophy.Let us not buy into the hype. Chelski is definitely beatable. In fact i expect Arse to beat them each time. Nothing less.

Come on you scousers ! Put one over the Russians on Sunday !

***

Corpse Bride was amusing as a one hour distraction. Hardly a must-see nor even should-see. Perhaps a no-harm-seeing. Top notch stop motion animation, surpassing Nightmare Before Christmas yet without the dark mischievousness of the latter. CB is as linear as it gets.

All in all an exhausting week. Work half day at one place, followed by 7 to 9 hours at another, four out of the last five days. Spent close to three hours on a survey last night. It was the longest conversation i ever had with anyone ! and morever a guy !

Argh. Will i ever get to interview a chio bu ? A lao chio will do...

***

I figured i am amoral.

At dinner last night, the auntie came back with 47 dollars change when earlier i gave the exact sum. I immediately declined and insisted there was a mistake. No self recriminations.

Back track to last week. Found a wallet in cab. Upon flipping thru, saw its an Ang moh wallet with at least $100 in cash. Reluctantly handed over to the cabbie. Been mentally beating myself over it.

Don't tell me i did the right thing.

I still think the right thing would be handing over the wallet sans money. It would tide me over for another week at least.

The migitating factor ?

The bloody angmoh can well afford it.

2005-09-23T23:07:00.000+08:00

Ode to Sedation Act

Told to me by an Indian. Here goes :

3 men were hauled in for questioning.

The first, a tough looking chinese, stubbornly refused to squeal no matter how badly he was beaten up. Desperate, the police officer pulled out a liquid filled syringe and threatened,

" if you dont tell us what you know, i'll inject this HIV infected syringe into you. "

The Chinese turned pale, broke down, and blabbered.

In came the second man, a burly Indian. Just like the man before him, the indian was tough as a nut and steadfastly remain silent. Again, the police officer pulled off the same threat and again, the second man crumbled.

The last man, a Malay, was next. Man, was this guy stoic. He endured the worst of beatings without a sound and even when confronted with the threat of the HIV syringe, the officer could not get even one word out of him.

Amazed, the officer caved in and asked,

"you not afraid of AIDS isit ?"

The Malay calmly answered.

"I scared what scared ? I wearing condom."

***
2 weeks ago, i was peacefully reading my book on board bus 31. At some point of time, a group of Malays boarded, and plonked right at my sector of the bus. Being free spirited, energetic youths, they started to sing gustily, drum the seats, laugh sporadically at their own sponaenity and generally being generously expressive.

What is one to make of it ?

What can one do under such circumstances ?

If i confronted them, which i was within a whisker of doing so, the race card would be hurled in my face.

" dont be racist you fat chink ! whats wrong with us singing in buses and generally making a bigger ruckus than dogs in the alleys ? thats us ! "

The trump card of the minority.

The race card.

Inevitably, it will be evoked.

You simply cant confront them as a fellow human being.

They must see it as a slight upon their kind, "oh u never respect us" sentiments start to overflow and then it all goes out of hand.

Tell me, what should i have done in the above mentioned scenario ?

Grin and bear it ? If it was a group of Chinese, i would have told them to tone down and if they want to blow things up, i am always ready.At least i am confronting them on equal terms. At least if hauled in, all of us will be dealt with similar severity.

But a minority race ? The odds are stacked against me.

Grinning and bearing it never sounded a better option.

And thus free spiritedness reigns at the expense of civic public mindedness. Or is it public civic mindedness ? or would "civic mindedness " suffice, without the "public" ?

I need sleep.

2005-09-13T00:09:00.000+08:00

I'll probably be skewered.

For months now, I have been kaopeh-ing why no one called me up for interviews. Last week, DHL finally did ( 2 months late) and set up today for appointment. Quality control agent.

On the long journey there, the doubts bubbled.

Do I really want to do such a mundane job ?

Is it worth it to travel to such a ulu industrial park in Changi to do such a mundane job ?

Is it worth it to travel to such a ulu industrial park in Changi to do such a mundane job for probably $1600 ?

Is it worth it to travel such a ulu industrial park in Changi to do such a mundane job for probably $1600 and binded to a contract of 2 years ?

The cab reached. Fare :$16.00

I stepped out, turned towards the nearest bus stop and made my way back.

Forgive me, I simply could not imagine myself tracking figures on computer screens, notifying clients when their parcels are delivered, or answering nefarious dumbass questions with regards to their shipments. Especially not in such a remote even-the-ghosts-leave-it-alone place. And not 2 years.

I wouldn’t mind it if its in town.

Picky huh ? Not true. I have done my fair share of dumbass part time jobs to get by, and largely enjoyed the experiences. The difference is in their transitory nature. I can put up with shit part time. I cant put up with shit full time.

I can put up with shit full time for the correct remuneration though.

***
It felt like the end has cometh. Caught in the open with a flimsy brolly for cover. As lightning flashed unceasingly and the heavens thundered murderously, I treaded gingerly, eyes perpetually half closed in the long walk from the bus stop to home.

It felt like artillery bombardment, a scene out of Saving Private Ryan.

I'm going to be blasted into pieces. I'm going to be blasted into pieces. I'm going to be blasted into pieces.

I soldiered on stoically, and survived to tell the tale.

***
Stop moaning, Ashley ! You’re a Gunner, not Moan-rinho’s Chelski (we know you very much liked to be). Sure, blame it on the Vieria void. What a convenient excuse ! Arsenal do not need Vieria, nor Henry to beat teams like Boro, nor Thun nor 3 quarters of the Premiership.

Dig in and do your part ! You are one of the main causes of instability, with your blabbermouth and roubles-tinted ambitions !

*****

PS. Thanks LM ! for sending that last minute “ im sorry but ive accepted a better job offer” email on my behalf !

2005-09-09T23:51:00.000+08:00

When dreams come through...

3 years ago, i was on the verge of throwing the bank ($700) to procure this object of desire. I was lingering around the shop, running through persuasions for , argument against...Now, its finally in my hands ! For a "paltry" ( its still the bank to me...) $100 !

Patience does pay off. Only when it comes to inanimate objects.

***

I hate it when things had to be called off at the last moment. Sorry guys, I was very much looking forward to it too.

it seems its rather hard to get back to playing ! Firstly our usual location dont seemed to be bookable at all for consecutive weeks. Secondly, i am "at the mercy" of the other side because our side numbers are not robust enough to be "self sufficient".

eh , any comments just msn me. Im going to take out the comments option for a while. Lately some !_#)@!_)#@_!s (more than one) have infiltrated my blog and left annoying ads in the comments section. What have i done to you !@_#)!_#)!@_) ? Cant you !_)#@!_#)!_@) just get lost ?

ya. All in all a rather bad day. And nothing to look forward to in the next.

Will try asap to find a place to play next saturday. I've been sentenced to 5 days imprisonment without trial from the 19th to 24th, courtesy of our almighty Singapore Armed Forces. hope to at least go in with a pleasant saturday kickabout worth of memories.

The Last Soccer.

Lame but no kidding. I am seriously depressed about that. The near to total loss of mobility for 5 days.

2005-09-08T23:41:00.000+08:00

Striving for Subtlety Loudly

At least that was what Eric Khoo's latest offering, Be With Me, feels like.

" Look at me, im so subtle ! " it screams for your attention.

Ok, i admit I am not in the least bit partial. The perception of a rich brat masquarading as heartlander is hard to shake off. He can afford to make films with artistic inclinations ( pretensions ? ) simply because he is rich enough to afford it.

Squeezing 4 disparate stories into 1 reflects an incapacity to tell ONE story straight, especially when the 4 were not interwoven smoothly. Movies are in many ways, visual storytelling. Perhaps as separate entries, the 4 would have been fairly moving tales of love, courage, loneliness and grief. As it is, interspersed carelessly to form one body of work, reeks of artistic aspirations. The story of Theresa Chan, the spritely independent deaf and blind lady was supposedly the inspiration for this movie.10 minutes of Jiao1 Dian3 would have handled the Theresa narrative better. Was she just an excuse ? Or was her story simply overwhelmed by the birth of a local screen siren, Samantha Tan ?

I could gaze at her forever.

There, Ive got it out.

Be with Me is a great show.

2005-09-07T23:42:00.000+08:00

Code Red ! Code Red ! Weapons of Mass Destruction Detected ! Emergency Powers Granted With Immediate Effect !

2005-09-06T09:18:00.000+08:00

It nestles within like an old friend. You hardly notice it, you wont feel it at first, perhaps just a general touch of lethargy, a general wanning of interest in most thing, a disinclination to attend to anything...then it spreads, trickling throughout the whole of self. And then it is back. Not the red hot searing imploding pain of youth but the dull throbbing pain of an ache that has become all too familiar.

It is good. The pain is stubborness manifest. The soul refuses to give up, to accept the current condition as an inevitable state of Life, and it struggles to break out.

Who am i aching for ?

What do i want ?

Tough. From the mangled mess, no answers could be glimpsed.

2005-09-01T00:20:00.000+08:00

Ka-Poom !!

What can i write that has not be indignantly posted on fansites forums since the news broke ?

we needed cover in CL for the suspended lehmann and after weeks of deliberation, we signed the third choice keeper of a newly promoted team ( Sunderland), and worse, an injured (for 4 weeks) one at that.

can someone explain that to me ?

6 times Estonian Footballer of the year.
100 International caps for the above mentioned footballing powerhouse.
200 Games for highly rated Derby and Sunderland.
33 year old.

Wow.

"Wenger Knows" goes the saying.

Hats off to you, Monsieur.

You have nerves of steels. Do you know something we dont ? is there that last trick up your sleeve ? the last rabbit in the magic hat ? Maybe Buffon is coming ? Toldo ? Sneijder ? Tudor ? Galasek? Cannavaro ?

When every team is bulking up with reasonably good players, Arse went off and signed a grand injured dame.

6 more hours before transfer window closes....

2005-08-29T22:51:00.000+08:00

A Long Pointless Story

I am a dampener in the best of times. i guess im now just about as wet a blanket as could be.

The concert was great. Sure. Most enjoyed it. Most were entertained. We deserve to pat ourselves on the backs, thats for sure. But i cringed to hear praise for The One.

Did we forget so soon ?

Lets put things in perspective, just to be clear where i stand.

I will always be grateful to the man who lit up my VS days and the times in VJ choir. I remembered i once told Joyce (sim) i owed everything to him which was true to a large extent in those days. If i ever did idolise anyone ( erm, apart from Bergkamp), he was it.

12 years in choir ( minus gaps of a few years ) , 12 years under him.

So no matter how he has "fallen" ( in inverted just to be more objective), his place in my/our lives will always be somewhere up there.

Then wherein lies my current slight resentment/discontentment ?

I shall launch into abstractities from here. (extremely long and incohorent. )

****
Arsene Wenger is the manager of Arsenal Football Club and in many ways, the "founder" of contemporary Arsenal from the 1997s onwards. Together with the Board, he sits down and plan the long term future and direction in which the club will goes. He decides which players will fit into these plans, make his signings, mould the players accordingly. All is well.

One day, Arsene Wenger decides to take up Luton Town, Blackpool FC, Rushen and Diamond, Burnsley, Wigan, Blackburn Rovers on top of the Arsenals, the Liverpools, the Manchesters that he already is overseeing. All is still well. Wenger is single mindedly committed to producing excellence in all the sides under him

The Champion League games approach. Knowing he has only one shot at the trophy and that human energies are limited, Wenger took a gamble and chose to focus on Liverpool FC over Arsenal. He still has some stake in Arsenal but it was more of general supervision rather than working closely with them

The days passed. Day and night he slogged on tactics, preparations, training for Liverpool FC and the players in turn improved leaps and bounds. Meanwhile, Arsenal FC were not really without capable men. Pat Rice, Liam Brady and Steve Bould gamely took up the reins in Wenger's absence but hard as they tried, they lack the Master's touch.

The rest as they say, is history. Liverpool won the Champion League. Arsenal gave a reasonably good account of themselves, fought gamely but went out relatively early.

And yet Wenger stayed on as Arsenal's manager. And continued to take credit for the occasional flash of brillance the players produce, although clearly, it was more of the three coaches graft and hard work that laid the foundations for the (increaingly) last minute intervention of the Master's magic to work.

*****

Erm...so whats my point ?

2005-08-26T23:17:00.000+08:00

Dear Nephew/Niece,

You were gone before we could hold you in our arms, hear you gurgle, babble, wipe our snot, change your messy diapers, warble you lullabies, watch you take your first steps, utter your first word... there are so many things that will never come to pass because you were taken from us so soon, all too soon.

Rest well, little angel. And bless your mummy and daddy from wherever you are.

2005-08-25T23:58:00.000+08:00

Excerpt from ABOUT ME section Yahoo Auctions...

I was trying to close all my auctions but couldnt cos i did not choose the "close early option" earlier on. so there will still be auctions floating around...

im sorry, i decide to just watch and not sell anime. it has become sort of tedious to have to keep replying to dorks ( i know its rude but i have no other terms to describe them ) who keep asking :

"is your anime downloaded or ? "
" Vcd or pc ?"
"can play on vcd ? "

come on ! all the info are written there. i can understand the older folks who called to ask about it because this is something foreign to them, the idea of downloaded anime. but otherwise, im very irritated when i had to repeat myself again and again and again.

so there. :) back to a peaceful existence where my hp dont buzz with annoying queries that i have to answer time and again.

***

i guess i just dont have the patience for customer service huh ?

2005-08-25T01:20:00.000+08:00

A Difficult Prayer- A film by 5C Films Pte Ltd, directors Colin Goh, Jocelyn Woo Yen Yen.

My debut involvement in feature film production ended 2 days ago. Many would have heard us complain about the long,irregular hours but now that its over, we wore it like a badge of courage.

Everyone has their horror stories to relate.

" i woke at 4am on sunday morning ! "

" we filmed till 8am ! "

" clocked an astounding 19hours without sleep ! "

"we walked 5 hours and never got out of a 100 m stretch of road ! "

To anyone who asked, i have replied " boring" , "din realised it was so tedious" , " the hours are crazy man ! ", " i doubt i have the stomach for it." and similar none-too-enthusiastic responses.

Yet at the wrap party, when i first glimpsed the rushes, I was entranced. All the grouses, all the gloominess dissipated.

So this is what we have done.

This is the magic they spoke of. We have created a "reality" that hitherto never existed. And i contribute, in a somewhat minor way, to the construction of this filmic universe that our characters breathe and live on.

I am hooked.

Where do i go from here ?

***

Sounds like a big improvement.

the Ave Maria recording (from yann site) almost brought on the bumps.

Still somewhat short of being wholly absorbing but almost there le. Just a little more, guys ! See you on Sunday !

***

2005-08-19T23:45:00.000+08:00

Thy Aguas Are We

The instinctive reaction was :

)!@#(!)@ !!!!!

followed by :

@!#*(#*#)#@!#@#!!@!@ !!!!!

and,

@!#*(#*#)#@!#@#!!@!@#@!)!@#(!)@** !!!!!!

Who the fuck do they think they are, pissing on a tradition that is more then their ages combined ?

the lot ought to be fired !

After cooling down, my reactions are somewhat less self-righteous. After all, its a school that i have visited only once ever since i left. Yet, somehow it just feels wrong. VS as co-ed ? It just gets on the nerves.

And there was a side report about some VJC females being so irked at the line "THY SONS ARE WE" that they sought to remove it.

What the fuck do you females want ?

Burn your bras all you want, but dont blame me for staring !

2005-08-10T00:30:00.000+08:00

Six days of involvement. I would like to say I am all reved up in excitement and enthusiasim to be finally working in an enviroment that coincides with my interest. But unfortunately no. Im feeling quite drained. The hours are either terribly long or irregular. :)

Perhaps its the nature of my job scope or that i am currently more obsessed with not cocking things up (than contributing proactively). Ive not offered any opinions nor even thought much through things. Im still at the join-the-dots level and finding my ground. Everyone seems to be know so much more. Even the drivers had experience in actually MAKING short films before !
Its quite intimidating. Ive ran through quite a number of films that can at best, form part of background knowledge about film and film history but about actual film making, i know nothing.

Let this be my education then. Sincerely hope i dont cock up my chance to get another shot at it the next time round.

2005-08-02T23:08:00.000+08:00

Suddenly everything falls on my platter. Now im stunned. First the VPO training, then the possible night call centre job (idea dismissed) and now THIS. This might be my big break into a hitherto unknown world. Although its a relatively entry level assignment, Im worried i will be biting more than i can chew.

This position requires me to be :

1) Resourceful
2) Diplomatic/Tactful
3) Meticulous and organised
4) Enforcer of rules/regulations

which part of those sounds like me ?

They probably only accepted me because they are short on time to find a replacement.

Im actually panicking now. Hope i will be calmer tmrw.

Its going to be a crazy 20 days. Everything will either fall in place from hence on or fall apart. Dont ask me about it. I dont want to jinx it by yapping about it. Ask me after August 22.

***

2005-07-31T17:08:00.000+08:00

25 and counting

A quietly eventful birthday passed. The way i preferred it.

Started well enough when in the wee hours, Arturo Lupoli struck at 450am to give Arsenal the winner in the annual Amsterdam Tournament. Slept smugly for a few hours and on a whim, decided to join Check's team for soccer. Hardly featured in the hour i played but a defensive mix up left me with a chance at goal. Took it first time. WHAM! Ricochet off the post. Goal for the bday boy ! You cant touch tis' !The heavens joined me in over-the-top celebrations as it thundered and poured relentlessly. Game called off. Just as well. I had to leave early in any case.

Lunch was a simple affair at Dian Xiao Er, an inn-like eatery at the newly refurbished uppity Marina Square. The herbal duck was a treat and the sour spicy fish slices went down well too. Did not get the taste Nu Er Hong, the "legendary" wine in many period dramas. At $58 an itsy bitsy bottle, it was just too ostentatious. Will be back for it when the coffers overflow.

After desserts at Anderson Ice cream ( diet suspended for the day obviously), the family went for their first movie together since I-dont-remember-when. Tsui Hark's Seven Swords. Sat through it in a half stupor. Maybe it just caught me at a bad time. Was expecting a rollicking baddies-walloping martial arts flick and i got a ponderous period piece that strove for the cross pollination of but was never half as thrilling as the kickass Wong Fei Hong series nor the cerebral Hero. Cool swords though.

Hovered between ending the day at home and joining JL at her bbq party and chose the latter. Quite miss her mutt. (not butt...) Walked the mutt as soon as i reached and it embarrassingly shat on the pedestrian pavement. A few giggly young girls attempted to pat the mutt but did not attempt striking up conversation with the expectant "owner". Darn. A few more bemused mutterings and glances at the inconguous pair along the way and thats about it. Went back for the food where above mentioned mutt piteously looked on. Not exactly my fault that shih tzus are so fragile that they cant partake chicken wings, satay, sausages without harm to their consitution. I did slip him little bits of meat when JL wasn't looking and generously allowed my fingers to be licked clean.

Stayed 2 hours and left. All in all a lovely day where well wishes trickle in throughout the day and time spent in the company of friends who largely dont realise its my bday. heh.

Preferred it this way. No embarrasing birthday songs, no obligations to buy gifts, do anything different for me just because its my birthday.

2005-07-28T22:44:00.000+08:00

Whose blog is that anyway ?!!

Three ways of covering the same event.

Blog A :

Yippee ! Got a new stove oven today ! I wonder if i small enough to hide inside...

Blog B :

A new stove oven arrived today. There is no way of knowing what this portends but ya, a new stove oven has arrived and i am glad. For now.

Blog C :

(Close up pic of stove )

Caption : Stove.

2005-07-26T22:06:00.000+08:00

Football Ramblings as usual

I rather Arsenal not sign the Beast of Sevilla, considering what an indecisive puss he is..

from : " I would love to play alongside henry"

it has become :

"There are many factors against it (moving to Arsenal), I would have to leave Spain and adapt to another league in World Cup year and I believe I have a good chance of playing in it."

Ok. Point taken. Now just buzz off. You would have added physical presence in attack. Thats about all. A rather nice element to have, but Arsenal have 3 league titles, 3 Fa cups without that. So we will survive, thank you very much.

Better not arrive at all than to arrive and have head turned by Real a year later. Anelka/Vieria saga all over again. No point getting rid of a scum to replace with another scum.

Brazil has Ronaldo, Ronaldinho, Adriano, Robinho. You are but a pauper version of Adriano -- Strong in the air, somewhat skilful on ground. You have a good chance of warming the german benches ! See ya there !

***

I committed financial hara-kiri today. I am still reeling in the aftermath.

Wandering around Chinatown and found a gem of a shop--Buster Keaton, Marx Brothers, Charlie Chaplin dvds for $5 each ! and a slew of other Hongkong movie classics for $7.50 ( 2 for $15 actually )

List of my crimes :

1) Bought The Kid (Chaplin), Saphead (Buster), A Night in Cascablanca (Marx Bros), I Vitelloni (Fellini), Ong Bak I, II. ( Guilty on all 6 charges )

2) Went over to PS and at Poh Kim, bought... Really Bend It Like Beckham....

3) Had grilled fish at 5th floor Manhattan Fish Market...

Almost top it off with All about Dogs but decide enough is enough! , and made my way home.

***

Finally got my hands on Half Blood Prince. Bro probably will read it first. I have no time.

Battousai the manslayer kenshin awaits.

2005-07-23T21:38:00.000+08:00

The Sword of Damocles Hang Darkly Over Me

I do not think i am one given to worrying, but lately and now, i am vexed. My insouciance about my finances, prospects and trajectory of my future has suddenly given way to bleak and increasingly suffocating depression. Besides sales, insurance and marketing ( fields that i totally have no aptitude in ), i have applied for just about anything---film interns, assistant editors, customer service officers, librarians, admin executive, operations executive, research assistants, and a host of junior entry level positions. I am either under or overqualified, resulting in the perfect equilbrium--nothing.

Yet who can i blame ? I have not equipped myself with any skills that is of value. I have drifted along in the system, never taking it seriously, playing along well enough to pass out of it without ever given a thought to the big question about "What I want in Life".

Actually i know what i want. I've never aimed to change the world, be the top dog, the wealthy ambitious one, the "in" one, the intellectual....none of these. I've always wanted to be ordinary-Live, friends, a job with stable income, have a family with someone i love and who loves me, have kids, grandchildren and return to dust--no thoughts of leaving a legacy to the world or making a difference. Having all along drifted and playing by the system, i have assumed all of these will fall in place naturally, just as my academic results fall in place each time to get me by.

What are the chances i wont get into VJ from VS, or from VJ to local university, and eventually passing out from it ?

NONE. and i was right

What are the chances of being 25 and alone ? Or 25 and without a job ?

NONE.

Or so i thought.

***

The VPO training that is to come seems to be nudging me in my desired direction a little but for the more immediate term, that is voluntary work and not a profession.

If i have nothing else, will it be enough to just have money ? I can live with it.

Yet, if i land on the wrong side of the Law, i would be hurting the two who ever truly love me. They wont be able to take it.

2005-07-22T20:19:00.000+08:00

A bit excited. Things seemed to be moving, inching slightly towards the possibilty of working in the field that i might want to work in (apart from disillusioned dreams of writing/film intern.)

Too early to think much about it. Sticking at my $7 an hour admin/data-entry job for now.

Haiz.

2005-07-22T00:35:00.000+08:00

Cast : M 1- Current bf, M 2 - the Ex, F 1 - Woman

Woman chatting with ex, current bf besides impatiently figeting, feeling woman all over, smooching her cheeks...

M 2 (exasperated ) : Would you like to piss on her ?

M 1 glares malevolently and continues with groping.

F1 ( uneasily ) : Whats that for ?

M 2 shrugs

" Nutting'. Thought he'll be peeing any moment now, the way he's marking the territory. Just thought i asked. "

***
Scene : Kopitiam

(overheard)

Uncle 1 : "Wah, you very rich leh."

Uncle 2, munching : " why leh ? "

Uncle 1 : " Peanuts so expensive you eat until so shiok."

2005-07-17T15:28:00.000+08:00

July 17th : Happy Birthday to a special one.

Happy Birthday :) seems that it has not been a happy day for you so far. May the remaining hours be more pleasant.

***
The curtain has fallen over Kidneygate, all major players exiting with the appropriate flourish. It was amusing while it lasted.Started with a gold tap, ended in a bloodless coup in a typically efficient Singaporean way.

Intrigue, covert operations, claims, counter claims and above all, Passion ! This drama has it all ! Played out over an intense five days !

Highly entertaining as the public boiled many times over, choking on indignance and perceived betrayal. In principle i shared their sentiments. It was delightful to hear all the cries for transparency, and ironically, calls for goverment intervention, ending with the eventual stepping down of Durai (looking appropriately baleful at press conferences) and the board of directors ( matyrs to the last ).

The Mob has spoken. And the Mob was answered. Blood was spilled as demanded.

What now ?

(1) With his ability, Durai will probably be re-employed in a CEO capacity in another company earning at least the same pay if not more.

(2) The new CEO will probably be paid "peanuts" as well.

Nothing has changed. It was a pleasant exercise in people power. Occasional concessions that reinforced our beliefs about power to the people. This was much much more exciting than the casino debate.

Morale of the story ?

Never throw stones in a glass house !

This part of the sage tickles me the most. How could he NOT have seen it coming ?

what a durai.

2005-07-15T00:37:00.000+08:00

July 14th : The Day The French Clique Cracked.

You were once our hero.

You could have been our immortal beloved.

Your flirtations with Real Madrid cost you that place in our hearts.

Yet Nine years has its toil on one's affections. Goodbye now.

Your era has finally simpered to an end. A new dawn beckons.

Step forward, Captain Henry, the true epitome of all that is Arsenal.

2005-07-14T18:13:00.000+08:00

Durai, Durai, Sat on a wall....

A new entry in our national lexicon

Durai :

- loosely used with matters pertaining to buffoony, idiocy and related concepts.

Eg Dont be a durai leh ! ( tone will indicate spectrum from nincompoop to idiocy )

- Might be used to indicate evasiveness

Eg Dont durai durai hor ! ( stop fudging the issue ! )

- particularly effective when used extravagantly and whenever inappropriate, especially when it doesnt make sense.

Eg Dont durai yourself !

Dont make me durai lah !

( free style association. Durai=Dulan ? Durai=embarrassment ? It doesnt matter ! the vague the better ! )

***
Who am i kidding ?

My mockery rings hollow.

This guy brings home 600 K yearly.

That rather makes him King of the Hill, does it not ?

And I ?

Lord of the Dump.

Hail.

-

2005-07-07T00:24:00.000+08:00

Munching on my third apple of the day. Almost gave in to the temptation of making a thick brew of Milo. This is going to be one hard ride.

Third day of my resumed diet, interrupted since March. Qualified success so far. It is hard, getting used to the routine of only one proper meal and one replacement drink a day. The itch is always there to imbibe something rich and sweet. or simply to grab something to munch.

Hence apples.

hmm..i think i better get to sleep soon..

2005-07-06T00:26:00.000+08:00

Just realised i had not bathed in what probably was 30 hours...and had not stepped out of house except for buying the papers.

Scrapped Princess and Beck tossed off. Another 2 anime series to the list of Things-I-watched-this-summer.

Am fighting hard NOT to watch War of Worlds. Shall not encourage the production of such blatantly commercial films. Spielberg and Cruise, try topping that for blandness.

***
"The last six weeks have been the toughest of my life,

The decision I have come to has been the hardest decision I have ever had to make.

I fully intended to sign a new contract after the Champions League final but the events of the past five or six weeks have changed all that.

I have too much respect for the club and the people at it to get involved in a slanging match."

***
Delete "Champions League Final "and one would have problems guessing which celestial being uttered the above cliches.

Take your pick - Vieria, Ashley Cole, Rio Ferdinand, Steven Gerrard.

All are assholes, but some are bigger assholes than others. ( ie, Vieria, Gerrard.)

2005-07-03T01:44:00.000+08:00

Movies watched in the past 2 weeks

1) Initial D
2) Downfall
3) In My Father's Den
4) Kungfu Mahjong
5) Batman Begins
6) Mr and Mrs Smith

Anime watched in the past 3 weeks

1) Cowboy Bebop (25 episodes)
2) Samurai 7 (26 episodes )
3) Chrno Crusade (24 episodes)
4) Wolf Rain (30 Episodes )

I amaze myself by how busy i am.

Methinks i should stop and attempt to review some of the stuff i watch. Makes no sense to keep absorbing without reflecting, which is exactly what i am doing now.

***

Chapalang FC 1 Pseudo Taxi Drivers 1

Michael ( the co-ordinator for the referees and pitches) ought to be shot.

I was informed our opponents are a team of middle aged taxi drivers.

With this vision of tubby grouchy middle aged cabbies in mind, I thought this match would be a breeze--We would be able to stroke the ball around, experimenting with team dynamics, generally enjoying our football and savouring inevitable victory.

It was not to be.

The team that turned out was by no stretch of imagination middle-aged, nor were they tubby ( saved for a couple ). A tough match ahead.

4th Minute, the pseudo cabbies scored.

Shit, thought i. ( the actual thoughts were, " what the fuck...." )

Hope we dont caved in. Everything to play for, almost the full 90 minutes ahead.

( "kns, hope we dont cock up again. " )

By the half hour mark, we equalised, Weiyang pouncing on an incredible blunder by the keeper to pass for hongyi who rolled the ball in.

The rest of the match was a sturdy test of resolve as we huffed and puffed to no avail, creating only 3 real chances in the match. Fortunately, the opponents were not full of ideas themselves, and whenever they managed to break through, Goalie Kevin was in top form. And thus it ended 1-1, a standing ovation from opponents and teammates alike for what was our last minute stand-in for our first choice keeper Benny.

Hmm..i would say it was a good result but a slightly disappointing performance. With the qualities of the players we put out today, we should have been able to win. (instead of being pushed back for much of the second half )

We are obviously unable to function as a team yet. Nothing to be discouraged about.

It is early days yet.

***
I dont know if i stepped on any toes (metaphorically) but yupz, very sorry if any offence was taken or if anyone felt left out/taken for granted. I always try to arrange such that everyone who turns up get to play for a decent amount of time but of course it is biased in favour of the more skilful players. i think today everyone gets to play at least 20 minutes ? Quite reasonable to me , but if any of your friends felt it was a ****ing waste of timefor him to turn up today, my apologies.

***

Still on football, I realised I play the game (it is, in a way, a game.) of love as i play the sport--impatient, hurried, and lacking in stamina. I lunged in at the slightest chance of getting the ball, run around wildly with no positional sense, and knocked myself out breathless in a short while.

Ahh...i do not have the stomach for long drawn-out battles. No insidious plotting, scheming, tactical maneuvring. These things are tedious to me. It was never a matter of choice. I just do not have it in me.

If i am attracted to the person, i usually make it known within a few months. I am not one to silently hold any torch for anyone. And if and when i do decide to plunge in, i do not really care if the other party is attached. We do do silly things at times, getting attached to things we do not really love. And since i am unable to ascertain the strength of their relationship, i do not bother myself with it at all.

Nah, i have not decided. I am not even certain of my feelings yet. When that time comes, i will either plunge in or withdraw, bf or no bf.

Bf is but a (usually empty ) status description, and with it, the accorded privileges.

2005-06-19T20:04:00.000+08:00

Winning Eleven Haven

The chalet outing started very much the way it ended - With a game !

Within seconds upon stepping foot into the building, i was seated docilely on the ground, controller in hand, grinning as i tried to find a way to stop Wexian from making a fool of me. The night continued intermittently in the same vein, with me, Jimmy, xuhao, yiren and skunk taking turns at playing one another.

Dont know if i frustrated anyone. After all, chalet was supposed to be a fun, interactive get-to-know-each-other-better kind of thing.But there i was, hardly talking to anyone without a controller in hand. Worse still, I roped in every guy whom i think plays the game and hence robbing some couplings at any point of time of their better halves. My apologies if i spoiled any plans for cosy cuddling !

The highlight of the chalet came right after the epic choir pract when we started playing in fours. I was lost initially. Yiren and Jimmy were hard at work in the kitchen, earnestly preparing the ingredients for their joint fried rice adventure. Skunk was nowhere to be found. The younger males that i hardly know were playing cards and chatting in their groups. The younger females were having fun setting out the tables for dinner. Everyone was mostly making themselves useful in some way or another.

Then came the moment.

I spotted Xuhao, walked towards him and before i could say anything. He uttered the magical words:

"Lets have a game."

Thus it began.

We quietly set up the console, played each other for a couple of games and like wandering souls on a cold windy night, the Others came. One by one they wordlessly gathered and huddled around the fire. There was enough for everyone. No one was denied the warmth.

What a shame I had to leave around midnight. Mum was making a fuss over the phone demanding my return. Hahaha she was asking too why i never called back even once since friday night. ( which was only 24 hours ! ). Grinz. It was only then that i realised, ya hor, i never called or hardly sms anyone in the last 24 hours.

Grinz. Was still grinning as i left with England beating Brazil by 2 goals, me and elisabeth hubby (whats his name, i never knew ) forming a successful partnership.

2005-06-14T22:07:00.000+08:00

Lost - Me Funny Bone

Went ahead and caught Madagascar. My face barely twitched.Walked out of the movie hall feeling like a freak.

Can anyone point out which part of the movie was supposed to be funny ? Maybe i can laugh then.

Why cant the bledy americans just do animation without trying too hard to be intelligent ?

pop culture jokes + quotes + movie spoofs + yakky animals = funny intelligent movies for kids and adults ?

And why are the ang mohs so obssessed with verisimilitude? When will they get it that spending millions on technology that makes Alex The Lion fuzzy hair looks like the real thing is not preferable to a tighter story line and better thought out comic gags ?

2005-06-12T09:20:00.000+08:00

Musings on a lazy Sunday morning

The saturday that just passed was the first time i did not look forward to playing. I dont know why. Was a last minute decision to call everyone up for the game. Guess there would be days like this sometimes. On such days perhaps its not the soccer but the hanging around crapping that matters. Have not seen Leeming in a while too.

Ive decided to recruit this brazilian kid ( 9 year old ). His agent just forwarded me his video. You guys check him out at http://www.jean-carlos-chera.com . We will have to kidnap him if he refuses to move. We probably are a bit late, with him just moving to Santos, home club of the other brazilian wunderkid, Robinho.

ahh... jimmy made an astute comment today that ***** temper is worse than mine, the astuteness lies in the observation that my temper was quite bad. Which is very true. I have no idea why most people associate me with gentleness and all that. I find that rather amusing. Perhaps its down to that i dont really talk much usually in situations that annoyed me. I either explode or remain silent, with the latter being my usual option. (Most things are not worth making a fuss about anyway) There is no inbetween. I have not learn how to express my anger/frustration/opinion in moderating tones. I would not be able to do what Jimmy did today, ticking us off somewhat gently. If all the incessant talking annoyed me, i probably would have erupted : "eh , mai4 kao peh leh !"

***
Any volunteers to go jogging with me ?!! i cant do it alone. I will stop by the roadside for an ice cream 500metres off the mark.

2005-06-08T07:02:00.000+08:00

Never Eat at home...

Bro and I couldnt get back to sleep after Dad's sudden fit that saw mum accompanying him to the hospital. Was feeling somewhat hungry and decided to whip up something light. I wished i had not bothered !

Lacking the essential streaky bacon and whipping cream, i stubbornly decided to go ahead with the only dish ( besides instant noodles ) i knew how to cook - Carbonara. In place of whipping cream, i had the normal fresh milk. For the missing streaky bacon, i had chicken bacon ( which mum for some reason or another was inspired to buy last week ) and bizarrely, "Luck Chong". And i threw in 8 meatballs for luck.

Hence i went about industriously peeling the garlic, mincing them, snipping the chicken bacon and boiling the spaghetti.

To what disastrous consequences !

The spag was perfect but the sauce was woefully tasteless yet cloggingly rich.

Bro did the decent thing and slurped up everything without comment.

Hmm..yupz..so at 6am in the morning, the two dear brothers shared a wonderful homely breakfast courtesy of Akm.

2005-06-03T07:34:00.000+08:00

The Non-Entity That Cant Bear To Remain One.

There are many instances where whistle-blowing is necessary and Watergate is one. Yet if you dont have the bravery to stand out publicly THEN, u should shut up NOW. Not claiming glory 33 years after the incident.

Hail The American Hero !

I wonder how he revealed himself. Did a DArth Vader and gasped : " I am your Deep Throat " ?

PS. My apologies. It seemed that it was his publicity starved family rather than Mr Deep Throat himself that was responsible for this unveiling.

***
Visited XH last night. He was barely alive. Felt so silly sitting there not knowing what to say. I started talking about events in the last six months since we last met and it felt so dumb. These things dont matter to a dying person anymore, yet there i was, self consciously rattling away...talking about how his fav Liverpool team dramatically clinched the Champion League, how i was watching with a man u and pool fan, how we all lost our bets..... He chuckled... but i soon ran out of things to say.

He could not speak. Could only weakly hold his hp and sms a few words from time to time.

It was quite a struggle NOT to utter the traditional euphemisms of "Cheer up dude, you will get better in no time. ", " Lets watch a game again when u are well " ...

He wont be getting well. He is either dead in 3 or 6 months. It make no sense to even ask him to hang on. He can prolong his current state of existence but he will never turn the corner. The war was lost from the start.

And here we are, joyously alive, yet squabbling with loved ones over the most trival of issues, hurting each other, jealously attempting to assert certain perceived rights over one another, making ourselves and others miserable with our petty demands/tantrums/outbursts....

2005-06-01T23:21:00.000+08:00

Hmmm..its almost thursday now. This morning as I walked towards office, the anger washed over me again. Its been five days.

How can we walk away now ? We cant we cant we cant.

Yiren, kok hoo, kiat and probably owen can at least hold their heads high and said they gave their best shot. They ran themselves ragged. I know i can do better. For that brief 10 minutes i was on, i was teetering on the edge, aggression barely checked but ineffectively channelled. Was running wildly, pouncing on any slight opportunity to hack, bang and generally rough up the opponent.

I apologise for the execution than the intention. The aggression was a deliberate decision rather than me losing control. so for those who thought what happened to me, yupz, this is it. Sorry if you guys were worried for me.

I was too slow to do any real damage. There were a few occasions where i was half a second away from lunging in two-footed but pulled myself back as the opponent was already turning away from me. The last thing i wanted to do was to look ridiculous lunging at thin air. I was venomously aiming for the legs.

Sore loser ?

Yes.

And i will do it again under similar circumstances.

But when that time comes, i will do it much better.

Guys, lets face them again 2 months from now. We cant walk away just like that.

I really cant.

They have to pay.

2005-05-26T18:36:00.000+08:00

Aftermath

A Cup final worthy to stay up for. A rousing match that has almost everything - class (from milan ), hunger, fraility, grit and above all, goals !

It still irks me that the ilk of Traore, Smicer, Kewell, Dudek, Riisse would be immortalised in the annals of European Football history as triumphant winners of an epic match while the Henrys, Vierias, Etos, Ronaldinhos, Puyols, Shevchenkos, Maldinis, Buffons, Casilas of the world were no more than footnotes.

We probably should do this more often ? It was fun, the pre-match self-entertainment too. Together, we shrugged off the disappointment of Chelsea FC bravely going down to Derby county 2-5 and Spain fending off the challenge of feisty China PRC to tie the match at 2-2 before bowing out with honour intact in penalties shoot out. ( 1-0)

NIL SINE LABORE !

hahaha speaking of which, VS has been taken over by Geylang Methodist. The cab passed by the place this morning on my way home and i caught a glance. Poor school, it has totally lost its identity.

2005-05-26T10:15:00.000+08:00

The Night Of Madness

I suppose congratulations are in order, much like when you are socially obliged to when someone one vaguely knows won the lottery. Your thoughts were : What has it got to do with me ? still....politeness dictates that one offer words of congratulations.

So there, Congratulations, liverpool fans. I dont claim to understand the mysterious workings of Fate and Destiny but i had an inkling this might happen--that Liverpool will win the cup, simply because they seemed destined to do so. That was the sole reason i plonk my $40 on them.

For 64 minutes, it seemed all is well and logical in the world. Pool looked for the world like what they are --an ordinary team out of its league in the face of true pedigree. 3-0 dead and buried. For 64 minutes, Jimmy lived the dream, and when Gerrard thumped that header in, all was needed was another 2 Milan goals and he was in for the most incredible night in his short intermittent punting 'career'. Sorry dude, it was not to be. Your flash of inspired genius at the POOLS counter came to naught.

hahah i feel your pain.

When Alonso followed up on his penalty to make it 3-3, we went wild. Actually Yiren was the one who went wild and yelling. I was too shocked. The aristocrats of European football were being humbled by the peasants. My gaping astonishment aside, our hearts were one for the next 20 minutes. For different reasons obviously. My wager was alive and wriggling once more !

It was not to be. The match petered to extra time and then the mandatory penalty shoot-out. Now, usually im a big fan of shoot-outs-men and boys, wheat and chaff, heroes zeros and all that- but this partcular shoot out was too farcial.

Serginho sent the ball to the moon with Milan's first effort.

Monkey Who's-Your-Daddy Dudek antics pissed Pirlo and Europe Deadliest Predator Shev so much that they blasted at him instead of putting the ball in the net.

It was over ! The overthrown was complete !

The proletarian struggle ended in Rafa-lution ! *

And the Oh-now-im-so-proud-to-be-Red captain Gerrard stays for another year !

*******

Epilogue ....

The grinning Reds fan lived happily ever after and the no-glimpse-of-champion-league-glory Gunner fan slunk quietly into the night/dawn....

* term coined by some yelping TNP wordsmith. Such lameness will never flow from my fingertips. At least i think so.

2005-05-23T00:16:00.000+08:00

mum to shopkeeper : Just now I see you open now you so fast close.
shopkeeper : ???

*******

mum to someone on the phone : Later i telephone give you.
Bro and Me : ???

******

Channel 5 have always mangled Singlish in their attempt at local flavour, the result being a multitude of "lors", "hors" and other similarly superficial manifestations of Singlish.

My mum easily grasped the essence.

"i'll give you a call later" becomes " Later i telephone give you."

I am stunned. She's a poet.

2005-05-22T23:18:00.000+08:00

Here am i, minding mine own business, when something flew by and conked me flat out. Ah yes, the mysterious musical baton has landed, square on me head.

Total volume of music files on my computer:

-Nil - ( my comp crashed lately. a clean slate now )

The last CD I bought was:

Ultra Ultimate Trance ( 7 cds for the price of 1 !!!! )

Song playing right now:
-Over the Sky ( song on my blog )

Five songs I listen to a lot, or that mean a lot to me:

*Reason -Hoostabank
*Open Arms - Creed ( induces romantic fantasises in my delusional mind )
*Lilium- Elfen Lied Soundtrack
*Try Walking in My Shoes - Depeche Mode
*Come undone- Duran Duran
( i just dig the lyrics--"mine, immaculate dream, made flesh and skin, ive been waiting for you..."-- how cool is that ?!!)

Five people to whom Im passing the baton:

- Ahrenyi
- Joicie
- Hoo-ge ( dont hide ! )
- Chwee Kuey
- Wenjie

2005-05-22T02:22:00.000+08:00

2005 : The Year The FA Cup Was Robbed

Arsenal 5 Manchester 4 ( on penalties )

Just back from Jimmy's place. Had to endure an embarrassing mediocre match by Arsenal. This time there were no excuses -- no one dived, no Manchester player lunged into wild tackles, and both sides have similarly important players crooked.

Yet somehow or other, Arsenal did not manage to demonstrate in any sense their usual intricate, swift passing brand of football. This was an embarrasment in itself. The trophy was a cold consolation that i did not feel much for.

I disagree with the exageration that Manchester played Arse off the park. The very notion (that Man U "played Arse off the park" ) suggests a total superiority of one style over another. Man U had a lot of chances, yes, but they were mostly if not solely the result of direct play off the pace of the exuburant R & R duo. Lets just say Man U was extremely dominant in the number of chances created as a direct result of the searing pace of Roon and Ron. Hair splitting ? Ah, yes.

Lest much too fuss be made about the final result, lets not forget such incidents were not without precedents. A few years back, in the "blasphemous" year where Liverpool pulled the rug right under Arse to clinch the Cup through 2 late unbelievably sniper-sharp goals from then Kop darling Owen, i was devasted. Arsenal were playing exhibition football and the match was almost totally one way traffic in Arse's favour up to that point. As with Man U tonight, Arse failed to translate their superiority in chances into actual tangible goals and suffered the sucker punch.

One man deserved the plaudits tonight.

Jens Lehmann, more "affectionately" known as the Lemon, answered his critics, at least for tonight. It has been a hard long season for him to have his credentials doubted, his ability mocked and even dropped by his manager for 10 matches.

Take the floor, Lehmann.This night is yours. None else in the red and white of Arsenal can remotely claim to be deserving.

2005-05-18T07:55:00.000+08:00

An interesting incident cropped up last night.

The tiny tots thanked everyone but us for making the concert a success. A few of us were riled by it. It did not bother me much initially. Dismissed it as a careless slip admist the excitement. Yet as i mentioned the incident to Mum this morning, it gnawed at me-- How could they forget ?

It could only mean a few things.

One, they truly, sincerely, did not feel grateful for our support, i.e, they feel we were only there cos Nelson wants us to be there.

Secondly, more annoyingly, they lack the basic respect for us as seniors. Yes, respect have to be earned and not be accorded arbitarily. This perspective makes things worse. The underlying implication would be that they are feeling rather smug and superior about themselves.

Ahh...perhaps they are just tiny tots and they just forgot. The simplest reason is usually the case.

To me, even if they dont feel grateful, even if they felt they were superior (or if they were truly superior ) , it is just a form of (condenscending) courtesy to thank the guest choir. It is that simple.

***

Who were the flowers for ? the hordes of "groupies" lining by the StageDoor with their flowers and presents in hand ?

I thought they were for Terrance, Xuhao or Zhihong. That would at least be apt--They are excellent conductors in their own right and deserved to be showered with appreciation.

But no, its not for them.

Who then ?

I strongly disagree that any existing member in VJC choir is deserving of such adulation.

What have they done ? What have they acheived ?

It is worse than the phenomenon of the Meteor Gardens buggers. At least they are good looking, abeit in a feline sense.

I am getting on in years. I am perplexed by the youth of now, here and there...

2005-05-11T19:45:00.000+08:00

Revisiting an old song...beautiful lyrics...poetic, visual and sometimes, incomprehensible :P typical jap

I lie awake beside the windowsill
Like a flower in a vase
A moment caught in glass

The rays of sunlight come and beckon me
To a sleepy dreamy haze
A sense of summer days

If only I could stop the flow of time
Turn the clock to yesterday
Erasing all the pain
I've only memories of happiness
Such pleasure we have shared
I'd do it all again.....

rest of lyrics : http://larc-en-ciel.letras.terra.com.br/letras/96396/

***

the pain when Fortune brings you within a whisker breadth of happiness....

Last thurs Yiren drove us back home after Kingdom of Heaven and there was this accident along the way. My eyes scanned the plates as we went past. 7422, 2097. Made a mental note. Bought it for today's draw.

Today's second prize : 0972

Someday...Someday.... i will hunt you down... i will show no mercy..you...you...

2005-05-09T01:59:00.000+08:00

Sometimes i wonder...is this kind of life worth it ? it has been a generally good 3 weeks but i am on the edge half the time-- Always wondering/keeping tabs on this match and that, usually late at night---and things dont always turn out well in the end. Sometimes at the end of the long night, i end up with no more no less than what i started out with, which is equally frustrating after the mental strain the whole ordeal entails.

It has been the main source of my income for the past month apart from the note-taking sessions. I have been extremely lucky ( and unlucky from certain angles) but i cant expect whatever little current luck to hold out. Am expecting to hit a bad run soon by the law of averages.

For the record, i din not wager on the Arse-Pool match. Figured that winning the European Champion would be a extremely satisfying sensation in itself. And winning meagre sums while losing to Pool would be not much of a sweetener anyway. Decided to stay out.

Ahh..my life's a hazy mess and time just drifts by...

2005-05-04T23:32:00.000+08:00

"Its either a Kingdom of Conscience, or nothing at all ! "

The line that struck me most in Ridley Scott's somewhat meandering Kingdom of Heaven. The battle scenes are exhilaratingly (?) savage as one has come to expect from the director of Blade Runner, Gladiator, amongst others. However, the attempt to put a balanced spin on the issue of religion makes the show rather flat. No fizz. Or perhaps I am just mourning the absence of the masculine snarling Crowe. After Gladiator, there are no equals--Troy and Kingdom of Heaven being two of the latest in line that flatter to deceive, never delivering the resounding emotional wallop. Who can forget Crowe tearing, dripping/sipping his mucus beneath the charred bodies of his hanged wife and child ? Or how he finished off the other gladiator with a sword in each hand ?

Or the awe inspiring " What you do in Life echoes in Eternity " tag line ?

It has been a long time since i watched movie with 7 other people ! I usually dont go out with more than two companions, usually one.

Found an interesting site through classifieds today.

www.singaporeescort.net

Now, if only i have the dough...

2005-04-30T23:02:00.000+08:00

It was one of those matches that one lose with pride intact.

Well done guys ! Tim and Yiren especially, were a revelation in defence.

When Terr set off on his jinking run, cut in from the left and sidefooted the keeper in a one-on-one situation, we raised the roof with our cheers. It did not matter we were 3-0 down by that point. It was football at its most pure, untainted by any hint of commercialism/self interests.

We were happy because we scored. It was that simple. The pride of giving a good account of ourselves. Even if everyone else thought it silly, that one goal meant the world to us. (in that instant )

Not bad at all for a maiden game.

Personally it was a forgettable game, i din even hit my objective of getting a yellow card. I was hardly able to get near enough any player to foul him.

Hmmm..a few oversights in deploying the players, nothing that i blame myself for. I needed this first match to see clearer. And i believe everyone know themselves slightly better too after this match.

1) terr best position was left mid instead of the attacking central mid role i envisaged.

2) Aaron was largely uneffective being played out of position on the left.

3) Dylan was much more effective when he moved to the centre than when he was on the right flank.

i still dont know whats my best position. Playing at right/left back was a damage- control decision. It minimised my danger to the team.

Looking forward to the next yet-to-be-fixed match.